Stop Ghosting and Unfriending and Act Like an Adult

Let’s talk about something that has quietly become a social plague: ghosting and unfriending.

I’m speaking from experience here. Few things are more irritating than sending a message — personal or professional — and watching it vanish into the digital void. No response. No acknowledgment. Just your dignity and hope slowly evaporating. It feels rude because it is rude. And cowardly. Because it usually is that, too.

Somehow, in the digital age, we’ve managed to make disappearing from people easier than ever — no awkward conversations, no explanations, no emotional responsibility required. Just silence. Yay, technology!

Zero Empathy Is Maximum Convenience

Ghosting — dropping out of conversations without a word or never responding in the first place — has become weirdly normalized. It’s often justified as “protecting peace” or “avoiding awkwardness,” but let’s be honest: most of the time it’s about avoiding discomfort.

And avoidance has a cost.

When we ghost someone, we’re essentially saying, “Your feelings are less important than my momentary unease.” That’s not neutral behavior; it’s a choice.

In Christian tradition, we’re called to treat others with dignity and respect. Ghosting skips that step entirely. It’s not just impolite; it can cross into sinful territory when it consistently dismisses empathy and accountability.

Full disclosure: I’ve done it before. I’m not writing this from a moral high horse; it’s more from lots of self-awareness and reflection. Once you start recognizing the pattern, it’s hard to un-see it.

Professional Ghosting Even with Resumes

Ghosting has also gone corporate.

Professional ghosting is now fully institutionalized, especially in hiring. Candidates apply, interview, follow up, and then hear absolutely nothing. No rejection. No update. Just radio silence. The same thing happens with project pitches, collaborations, and professional outreach.

This isn’t just annoying; it’s disrespectful. People invest time, energy, and hope into these interactions. Ignoring that effort signals a complete lack of accountability. And yes, I could make the argument that this behavior negatively affects the economy, too, but that’s another article.

Ghosting also shows up at work in subtler ways: unanswered emails, clients who disappear mid-project, colleagues and co-workers who stop responding altogether. This creates confusion, resentment, and a culture where avoidance becomes the norm. Trust erodes. Morale drops.

I’ve experienced this not only professionally but even with church leaders. And honestly? A simple “yes” or “no” to an inquiry would suffice. Silence isn’t kindness — it’s indifference. Have some guts.

Hurt People Unfriend People

Unfriending is a little different. It’s more deliberate, often framed as “curating our social landscape.” Which sounds very calm and intentional until you realize it’s sometimes just emotional fallout with better branding.

We should ask ourselves: Are we unfriending because someone is truly harmful, or because we’re hurt and don’t know what to do with it?

Often, unfriending is less about the other person and more about unresolved feelings: anger, disappointment, jealousy, or plain exhaustion. Cutting someone off can feel empowering, but it can also be a way to avoid dealing with pain. And avoidance, again, has consequences.

When we unfriend without reflection, we lose the opportunity for conversation, growth, or reconciliation. We choose distance over dialogue and safety over maturity. Sometimes that’s necessary, but often it’s just easier.

Loneliness Spiral

In a world already struggling with isolation, habitual disconnection makes things worse. Ghosting and unfriending can create a vicious cycle: hurt leads to withdrawal, withdrawal leads to loneliness, and loneliness hardens us further.

Compassion isn’t always comfortable. It requires engagement, honesty, and sometimes difficult conversations. This doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior, but it does mean being intentional rather than reactive.

Before cutting someone off, consider whether a conversation could bring clarity. Not every relationship can or should be saved, but not every one needs to be quietly buried either.

Choosing Accountability Over Disappearing

At the heart of all this is accountability. Technology gives us endless ways to disengage without consequence, but that doesn’t make it right.

Before ghosting or unfriending, pause. Ask yourself this:

• Am I avoiding discomfort or protecting myself?
• Is silence actually kinder than honesty?
• What would it look like to respond with maturity instead?

Every message you ignore belongs to a real person. One who deserves at least the courtesy of acknowledgment.

We can do better. And we should.