Lent has a way of making us ask questions we might rather avoid.

It asks us to give something up, to examine our motives, to sit in the quiet spaces we usually fill with noise. And this year, one question keeps returning for me:

Am I truly loving people — or am I just trying to earn their love?

I think about the lengths I sometimes go to for certain people. The extra effort. The carefully chosen words. Anticipating their needs before they ask. On the surface, it looks generous. It even feels generous. Most of the time I believe it is, when I examine it.

But when I look honestly at my own heart, I sometimes see something less pure. I see how easily my “love” can become effort. Performance. Positioning.

There are people I know who do not particularly like me. Some I don’t especially enjoy either. And yet I feel something come over me — a determination to win them over. To soften them. To change their hearts and minds.

So I offer help. Extend invitations. Show up generously.

I tell myself this is Christlike love.
I tell myself I am loving my enemies.

But if I am honest, there is often another voice underneath:

If I do enough, maybe they will choose me.
If I am useful enough, maybe I will belong.
If I am good enough, maybe I will be seen.

This year, Lent is not letting that voice stay hidden.

So I sit with the harder question: If I knew I would receive nothing in return — no praise, no validation, no reassurance — would I still show up the same way? Mostly yes, but truly, sometime no.

If I earn love, I’ll be happier.
If I earn admiration, I deserve it.
If I earn belonging, I’ve won.

But love that must be earned is not love at all. Why is it so hard to be at peace accepting God’s pure love? Why does it feel like it’s not enough?

Many of us learned early that love had conditions: be helpful, be impressive, be indispensable, be easy, be more. So we spend our lives trying to become worthy of affection rather than simply receiving it. I sometimes feel like I’ve squandered my whole life chasing love.

But the love Lent points us toward cannot be earned. It can only be received. And when we begin to believe we are already loved without performance, something changes.

We start to love without bargaining.
We serve without needing applause.
We give without quietly keeping receipts.

This Lenten season, I am asking God to purify my motives — to teach me how to love without trying to secure something in return.

Because the more I sit with the question that began this reflection, the more I realize how easily love can become something else — a quiet attempt to secure approval, belonging, or reassurance.

And perhaps the deeper work of Lent is learning to let that go.

To stop trying to earn what has already been given.

To trust that being loved does not depend on how well we perform.

And from that place, to return to the original question — not with certainty, but with honesty:

Am I loving people … or am I still trying to earn love from them? As always, we are works in progress.

The post Are We Truly Loving People, or Just Trying to Win Them? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

I’ve built my own little catalog of commonly misused words over the course of a few years. These are the words that reliably make me wince, the ones I notice every single time they’re used incorrectly.

Some of them are grotesque, though some can make me laugh.

You may have your own kind of list like this. Certain words that, once they’re on your radar, you can’t not notice. They jump out at you mid-sentence and quietly ruin your flow. So now I’m curious … what’s on your list?

SPIEL: Turns out, I’ve had this one backwards. I always thought pronouncing it shpiel was wrong, but it’s actually correct. The word comes from Yiddish, and even though it’s spelled spiel, it’s meant to be pronounced shpiel.

• Example: “He gave a long shpiel about his investment strategy.”

FROU-FROU, NOT FOO-FOO: Working in the hospitality industry, I hear this tons. “I don’t like foo-foo drinks” is what they’ll say. Definition: fancy, showy, or frilly ornamentation. I never correct them.

• Example: “That restaurant’s decor is a little too frou-frou for my taste.”

Recurring, NOT Reoccurring: You can use the word “reoccurring,” but only when you’re speaking of something that happens again, but not on a regular basis.

• Example: “There’s a likely chance storms will reoccur today.”
  Recur is when something happens at regular intervals.
• Example: “My recurring dream came back last night.”

MYRIAD: This word simply means “many.”

Even in otherwise polished, professional articles, myriad is often made more complicated than it actually is.

• Incorrect: There was a myriad of options.
• Correct: There were myriad options.
• Example: “She has myriad reasons for loving that city.”

REAL-TOR, NOT REAL-A-TOR: Very few people use the correct one here, sometimes not even the realtor themselves. It’s a trademark name.

• Example: “I spoke to my real-tor about listing the house.”

IRREGARDLESS: In dictionaries this is listed as “nonstandard” or “incorrect” usage. Regardless means “without regard.” So, when you say irregardless, what you’re really saying is: without without (twice) regard.

• Incorrect: “Irregardless of the weather, we’ll still go hiking.”
• Correct: “Regardless of the weather, we’ll still go hiking.”

JIBE, NOT JIVE: This is another one the dictionary lists, though considers non-standard. It’s become so common over the years that it’s starting to be looked at as acceptable.

• Incorrect: That story doesn’t jive with me.
• Correct: That story doesn’t jibe with me.
• Example: “His version of events just doesn’t jibe with the evidence.”

LITERALLY: This one drives me nuts. People often use “literally” for emphasis, when they mean “figuratively.”

• Literally means something actually happened, exactly as stated.
• Figuratively means something is being expressed as a figure of speech or exaggeration — not actually true.
• Incorrect: I literally died laughing. (You didn’t actually die.)
• Correct: I figuratively died laughing. (You’re exaggerating for effect.)
• Example: “She was so embarrassed, she literally wanted to crawl under the table.” (Better: figuratively wanted to crawl.)

BEMUSED vs. AMUSED: Bemused means confused or bewildered, not entertained.

• Incorrect: I was bemused by the comedian.
• Correct: I was amused by the comedian.
• Example: “He looked bemused when we explained the rules.”

NAUSEOUS vs. NAUSEATED: Nauseous means causing nausea, while nauseated means feeling nausea.

• Incorrect: I felt nauseous after the ride.
• Correct: I felt nauseated after the ride.
• Example: “The smell of the paint made me nauseated.”

“SUPPOSED,” NOT “SUPPOSABLY” (Also Correct: “Supposedly”)

This mistake shows up a lot in casual conversation. “Supposably” is not a word. The correct phrase is “supposed to,” and it’s used for plans, expectations, or obligations.

• Incorrect: I’m supposably meeting her later.
• Correct: I’m supposed to meet her later.
• Example: You’re supposed to finish your homework before dinner.

“Supposedly” is a real word, but it has a different meaning: it indicates something that people say or believe, but might not be true.

• Example: She’s supposedly the best singer in the class.
• Example: The movie is supposedly very funny.

FLAMMABLE vs. INFLAMMABLE

Ironically, “flammable” and “inflammable” mean the same thing: easily set on fire.

The word “inflammable” can be confusing because people sometimes assume the “in-” prefix means “not,” but in this case, it doesn’t.

Example:

• Keep all flammable liquids away from the stove.
• Keep all inflammable liquids away from the stove. (Means the same thing, but “flammable” is safer for clarity.)

I COULD CARE LESS vs. I COULDN’T CARE LESS: Saying “I could care less” implies you do care at least a little, which is the opposite of what people mean.

• Incorrect: I could care less about that show.
• Correct: I couldn’t care less about that show.

DON’T vs. DOESN’T: (Yes, This Is Still a Problem)

• Don’t = I, you, we, they → I don’t get it.
• Doesn’t = he, she, it → She doesn’t get it.

If you say “he don’t,” “she don’t,” or “it don’t,” somewhere an English teacher just died a little. Don’t do it. Ever.

The post One Spiel on Misused Words appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

What Is Truth?

For thousands of years, people have asked a simple but powerful question: What is truth? Scientists, philosophers, and artists have all tried to answer it. But today, that question is often brushed aside. Instead of searching for truth, many people say it doesn’t really exist — that everyone has their own version.

This way of thinking is called relativism. It’s the idea that truth depends on the person rather than on reality itself. While it may sound open-minded, relativism has a big impact on how people think about morality, religion, and even the value of human life.

Truth: Objective or Personal?

To understand relativism, it helps to know that there are two different kinds of truth.

Objective truth is true no matter what anyone believes. The Earth is round, even though people once thought it was flat. Belief didn’t change reality.

Relative (or subjective) truth depends on personal opinion. Choosing a favorite ice cream flavor isn’t a matter of right or wrong — it’s preference.

Both kinds of truth exist. Problems arise when people treat everything — especially moral and religious questions — as if it were just personal opinion.

Relativism in Religion

Relativism often shows up in how people talk about religion. Christianity began with one Church, which Catholics believe was founded by Jesus and led by the apostles and their successors. Over time, disagreements caused groups to separate and form different Christian denominations, each with its own beliefs and interpretations of the Bible.

From a Catholic perspective, the truth itself did not change — people’s interpretations did. The Catholic Church teaches that it preserves the full truth handed down from Jesus, while other denominations may hold parts of that truth but not the whole of it. Relativism, on the other hand, claims that all beliefs are equally true simply because people believe them.

When Morality Becomes Relative

Relativism doesn’t stop with religion. It also affects morality. Today, phrases like “That’s your truth” or “What’s right for you isn’t right for me” are common. This idea, called moral relativism, suggests there’s no universal standard for right and wrong.

The danger is that without an objective moral standard, anything can be justified. If everyone decides their own rules, society loses a clear way to say that some actions are truly wrong — not just unpopular or inconvenient.

Where Do Moral Values Come From?

Moral beliefs are rooted in what we believe has value. In Western culture, the idea that every human life matters comes from the belief that people are created by God. That belief gives every person dignity, no matter their age, strength, or abilities.

When God is removed from the picture, human value is decided by people instead. That means dignity can become conditional — based on usefulness, independence, or opinion — rather than something every person naturally has.

Why Truth Still Matters

Perhaps you are still unconvinced. Perhaps you do not believe in God, and so it is easier to live life with your own set of morals that you are comfortable with. Relativism may sound harmless, but it has real consequences.

When truth and morality become flexible, serious issues are treated as personal choices instead of moral realities. Without shared truth, society loses its moral foundation.

Even when people deny objective truth, it doesn’t disappear. Gravity still works whether you believe in it or not. In the same way, moral truth exists whether or not it’s accepted.

It is in our very nature as human beings to know that there is right and wrong; there is good and evil. Truth isn’t something we create. It’s something we discover — and choose to live by. The challenge is having the courage to stand up for it — not just what’s popular, easy, or convenient.

We must pick a side. We must not choose a moral path of our own making. If you want to be a force of change in the world, stand for truth.

The post Real … Or Just Real to You? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Let’s talk about something that has quietly become a social plague: ghosting and unfriending.

I’m speaking from experience here. Few things are more irritating than sending a message — personal or professional — and watching it vanish into the digital void. No response. No acknowledgment. Just your dignity and hope slowly evaporating. It feels rude because it is rude. And cowardly. Because it usually is that, too.

Somehow, in the digital age, we’ve managed to make disappearing from people easier than ever — no awkward conversations, no explanations, no emotional responsibility required. Just silence. Yay, technology!

Zero Empathy Is Maximum Convenience

Ghosting — dropping out of conversations without a word or never responding in the first place — has become weirdly normalized. It’s often justified as “protecting peace” or “avoiding awkwardness,” but let’s be honest: most of the time it’s about avoiding discomfort.

And avoidance has a cost.

When we ghost someone, we’re essentially saying, “Your feelings are less important than my momentary unease.” That’s not neutral behavior; it’s a choice.

In Christian tradition, we’re called to treat others with dignity and respect. Ghosting skips that step entirely. It’s not just impolite; it can cross into sinful territory when it consistently dismisses empathy and accountability.

Full disclosure: I’ve done it before. I’m not writing this from a moral high horse; it’s more from lots of self-awareness and reflection. Once you start recognizing the pattern, it’s hard to un-see it.

Professional Ghosting Even with Resumes

Ghosting has also gone corporate.

Professional ghosting is now fully institutionalized, especially in hiring. Candidates apply, interview, follow up, and then hear absolutely nothing. No rejection. No update. Just radio silence. The same thing happens with project pitches, collaborations, and professional outreach.

This isn’t just annoying; it’s disrespectful. People invest time, energy, and hope into these interactions. Ignoring that effort signals a complete lack of accountability. And yes, I could make the argument that this behavior negatively affects the economy, too, but that’s another article.

Ghosting also shows up at work in subtler ways: unanswered emails, clients who disappear mid-project, colleagues and co-workers who stop responding altogether. This creates confusion, resentment, and a culture where avoidance becomes the norm. Trust erodes. Morale drops.

I’ve experienced this not only professionally but even with church leaders. And honestly? A simple “yes” or “no” to an inquiry would suffice. Silence isn’t kindness — it’s indifference. Have some guts.

Hurt People Unfriend People

Unfriending is a little different. It’s more deliberate, often framed as “curating our social landscape.” Which sounds very calm and intentional until you realize it’s sometimes just emotional fallout with better branding.

We should ask ourselves: Are we unfriending because someone is truly harmful, or because we’re hurt and don’t know what to do with it?

Often, unfriending is less about the other person and more about unresolved feelings: anger, disappointment, jealousy, or plain exhaustion. Cutting someone off can feel empowering, but it can also be a way to avoid dealing with pain. And avoidance, again, has consequences.

When we unfriend without reflection, we lose the opportunity for conversation, growth, or reconciliation. We choose distance over dialogue and safety over maturity. Sometimes that’s necessary, but often it’s just easier.

Loneliness Spiral

In a world already struggling with isolation, habitual disconnection makes things worse. Ghosting and unfriending can create a vicious cycle: hurt leads to withdrawal, withdrawal leads to loneliness, and loneliness hardens us further.

Compassion isn’t always comfortable. It requires engagement, honesty, and sometimes difficult conversations. This doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior, but it does mean being intentional rather than reactive.

Before cutting someone off, consider whether a conversation could bring clarity. Not every relationship can or should be saved, but not every one needs to be quietly buried either.

Choosing Accountability Over Disappearing

At the heart of all this is accountability. Technology gives us endless ways to disengage without consequence, but that doesn’t make it right.

Before ghosting or unfriending, pause. Ask yourself this:

• Am I avoiding discomfort or protecting myself?
• Is silence actually kinder than honesty?
• What would it look like to respond with maturity instead?

Every message you ignore belongs to a real person. One who deserves at least the courtesy of acknowledgment.

We can do better. And we should.

The post Silence Isn’t Golden; It’s Just Rude! appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

When things seem off, chaotic, or just plain strange, we’re quick to ask this: “Is there a full moon tonight?” For centuries, people have believed that the full moon brings out unusual behavior in humans. From emergency room surges to bizarre public incidents, stories about the “lunar effect” are widespread in both folklore and modern culture. But is there any truth to these claims?

The History of Full Moon Lore

Beliefs about the full moon’s power date back to ancient civilizations. The word lunatic comes from luna, the Latin word for moon, reflecting the long-standing belief that lunar cycles influence mental health and behavior. Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the full moon could incite madness, while in medieval Europe, it was linked to werewolves, witches, and sorcery.

In modern times, emergency service workers, police officers, and hospital staff often share anecdotal evidence of heightened activity during full moons. Sergeant Al Shaffer, with the Newark Police Department, tells us this: “As a 29-year veteran of the Newark Police Department, I’ve seen my share of wild nights. More times than I can count, I’ve heard officers say, ‘It must be a full moon.’ And, truth be told, sometimes it actually was.”

The Moon’s Gravitational Pull: More Than Just Tides?

It’s a scientific fact that the moon’s gravitational pull affects Earth’s tides. But it does more than raise and lower ocean levels. In fact, the moon actually tugs on the Earth itself — ever so slightly stretching the planet into an oval shape, especially near the equator. Scientists call this “Earth tide” and though the shift is tiny — measured in centimeters — it’s a real and measurable deformation of the planet’s surface.

Now consider this: if the moon can pull at the Earth’s crust and move entire oceans, could it also affect our bodies, which are composed mostly of water? Some researchers and spiritual thinkers speculate that even if the effects are too subtle to measure directly, they may influence us subconsciously. Our circadian rhythms, hormonal cycles, and even mood might be nudged ever so slightly by the moon’s phases. While science hasn’t conclusively proven this, it remains a compelling line of thought that fuels continued research and curiosity.

This can be compared to women’s menstrual cycles. Men, take note — many don’t even realize what’s happening during a period. The body is shedding an unfertilized egg, contracting and flushing out material that’s no longer needed. It’s a natural force, just like the pull of a full moon. And while women often get dismissed as “cranky” or “PMS-ing,” it’s undeniable that these forces, though unconscious, have real impact on mood.

The Power of Expectation and Perception

One major factor contributing to the belief in full moon effects is confirmation bias. If someone expects strange things to happen during a full moon, they are more likely to notice and remember odd incidents — and less likely to recall similar events on other nights. This phenomenon plays a powerful role in shaping our perceptions and reinforcing superstitions.

Sgt. Shaffer explained it this way: “When I step back and look at it more carefully, the evidence just isn’t there. Studies show very little proof that full moons cause more crimes or 911 calls. What really seems to happen is something called confirmation bias. Here’s how it works: if I have a very busy night on patrol, then look up and see the full moon, I connect the two. That ‘confirms’ the old belief, even if the moon had nothing to do with it.”

Additionally, the media often highlights bizarre stories that coincide with the full moon, further embedding the idea that the moon influences behavior.

So, Does the Full Moon Really Change Us?

It doesn’t seem so. “The truth is, there’s no strong statistical link between moon cycles and crime. The real reasons for busy nights are things like alcohol, large crowds, holidays, or big events in the city,” Sgt. Shaffer said.

“Still, the folklore around the full moon isn’t going away. People like to find meaning in what they see, and a glowing full moon is a powerful symbol. Even today, after a hectic shift, you might still hear officers say, ‘It must be a full moon.’ Sometimes it is — and sometimes it’s not,” he said.

The moon has pulled at the Earth since time began. Maybe it’s not so far-fetched to think it tugs at us, too.

The post It Must Be the Full Moon appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

In grade school we are all taught our A, B, C’s, but rarely were we ever tested on our Alfa, Beta, Charlie’s. If you’ve ever been on a phone call having to spell out your name or the email address you created in 8th grade, odds are you had to spell phonetically. When ‘A as in Adam’ and ‘B as in boy’ leave your lips, you’ve just used your own, personal phonetic alphabet. In an increasingly loud world, where the three-second video clip is king and everyone and everything is vying for attention, slowing down and conveying a message clearly us a necessity. Over 100 years ago, a new alphabet was created to help with this very issue – though referenced in pop culture and every day parlance, its inception was mainly to support military operations and aviation. Saying that life is a battlefield, (not love: sorry Pat Benatar), in this sense, is not far off.

Created to Support Military

“Radio communication is where it started,” says Dan Bell, a retired 22-year veteran of the Marine Corps. “I joined the Marines in 1977 and had to memorize it. I had many classes down at Parish Island. It’s kind of like verbal Morse Code.”

And while he’s absolutely right in its most well-known form, the need to incorporate universal phonetic spelling started pre-WWI as a way to support two-way radio communications (both in militarily and for the amateur radio aficionado) and low-quality long-distance telephone circuits.

Uniformity Helps Combat Background Noise

The early 20th century saw the creation of the Amsterdam-Baltimore Alphabet insomuch that the letters were represented by different country names: Amsterdam, Baltimore, Canada, Denmark, etc. Then, post WWII and after years of additional studies, some done here locally at The Ohio State University in Columbus, the Able-Baker Alphabet was adopted with some new phonetics, to better ensure that words sounded different enough when spoken to combat potential background noise and confusion.

“Many sounds are highly confusable within a language,” says Meghan Sumner, a linguistics professor with Stanford University, in a recent interview with Popular Mechanics reporter Kimberly Hickok. For example, the sounds “th” and “f” and very similar (thin, fin) and easy to confuse, as are “m” and “n” sounds, they explain. “Especially in the contexts that are noisy or when you can’t see the talker,” such as over a radio with background noise or interference. The NATO Phonetic alphabet helps avoid that ambiguity and makes it clear what the letters are, Hickok reported.

Alphabet Was Made Universal

Named after the organization that first approved its broad use, (the North Atlantic Treaty Organization), the alphabet was standardized to ensure its functionality more broadly.

“Across languages, speakers might hear a sound, but map it onto a different sound category in their own language, especially in context of background noises,” Sumner says. “For example, the Spanish pronunciation of the letter “P” sounds very similar to the English pronunciation of the letter “B.” This could cause issues when communicating the names of the people or places to someone who may not be familiar with those names in the other language, Hickok reported.

“Working with other countries [we] needed familiar language,” further explains Dan Bell. The variety of changes that have been applied over the last almost 100 years to this and other similar phonetic alphabets were done so with the arc of universality to compensate for the differing linguistic tendencies in other countries. Relative to global miliary alliances, its importance in the field cannot be understated as a bridge between countries, though also with a nod to uniformity among American military branches themselves.

“When you communicate in the field, you’ll have the Navy and the Army in the same area [and] when you have joint operations you have to have the same alphabet,” Bell states.

Ironically, in daily use, at least one universally adopted word is officially spelled differently than pop culture conveys: Alpha is actually spelled Alfa.

Similarly, the pronunciations are different that most would have you believe: Lima = LEE MAH; Qubec = KEH BECK; Victor = VIK TAH.

Keep in mind, this alphabet differs in usage, but holds a similar mode of messaging conveyance with other types of speech. For example, acronyms, which are abbreviations of a name or multiple words used as a word itself, like NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration), or initialism, which are abbreviations consisting of initial letters pronounced separately, (LOL = Laugh Out Loud, FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out, or CPU = Computer Processing Unit).

So next time someone asks to spell a street name or confirm an alphanumeric license plate, remember the NATO Phonetic Alphabet when speaking with the local customer service representative. Papa-Sierra: There is an alphabet for numbers, too.

Commonly Referenced Phonetic Alphabet Phrases:

Well-known Berlin Wall access point between East and West Berlin, Checkpoint Charlie is actually Checkpoint – C

Oscar Mike = On the Move

Lima Company from Brook park, Ohio is actually Company – L, who are the third battalion of the 25th Marine Regiment (See: Lima Company Memorial at the Ohio Statehouse)

Fans of the History Channel Show The Curse of Oak Island might hear brothers Rick and Marty Lagina refer to buried treasure as ‘Bravo Tango’

Link to websites to grab a table of current NATO Phonetic Alphabet and the one for numbers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NATO_phonetic_alphabet

https://www.popularmechanics.com/culture/a39297126/origin-of-the-nato-phonetic-alphabet/

The post Alfa, Beta, Charlie appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Beautiful beans. I love them, and in fact, they’re my biggest protein source. Telling people this usually elicits a chuckle and response about their inability to handle the end-result after eating them. However, the fiber in beans can actually slow things down in that area – No. 2-wise – not the opposite. It took me a long time to figure this out.

Fiber is simply plant material. Unlike carbohydrates, it has no calories or food energy in it. Instead of being broken down and absorbed into the bloodstream, fiber simply passes through the entire digestive tract, acting like a broom by “sweeping” out crap. Sometimes it’s counterproductive, though, if we consume too much. We think, well, it’s fiber and it’s healthy, so my bowel movements should be regular, right? Not so. The type of fiber you’re eating makes all the difference in the world by regulating how quickly you’ll go.

Very roughly, people need about 25-30 grams of fiber a day, though most only get about 15. On a personal note, I think I take in about twice the daily amount, due to my love of vegetables, and it’s wreaked havoc on my digestive system. I think I’ve figured out a perfect diet solution – I just won’t eat at all. Kidding, but it is funny when you think you’re doing good things for your body, you could actually be doing more harm.

SOLUBLE fibers – Slows down No. 2s

This type of fiber attracts water and forms a gel, which slows down digestion. It delays the emptying of your stomach and keeps you feel full longer. It bulks and expands while it sits in your intestinal tract for awhile. It slows down the absorption of sugar and fat in the blood, helping regulate blood sugar levels. It also binds and removes cholesterol from your blood stream.

Sources of SOLUBLE fiber:

• Beans
• Oatmeal, oat bran
• Fruits like: apples, plums, oranges, bananas and blackberries
• Veggies like: carrots, squash, beets, potatoes, sweet potatoes – Think “starchy”

INSOLUBLE fibers – Speeds up No. 2s 

This type of fiber has a laxative effect because it doesn’t dissolve in water, so it passes through the gastrointestinal tract quickly without breaking down, and speeds up the passage of food and waste through your gut. If insoluble fiber gives you digestion problems, you can: Remove peels from your veggies; dice, chop or mash to make them easier to break down; eat them well-cooked, by either steaming, boiling or braising.

Sources of INSOLUBLE fiber:

• Whole grains
• Fruits like: Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, pears
• Veggies like: leafy greens, corn, green beans, celery, onion, broccoli, cabbage

All fibers have a soluble/insoluble ratio. Because of this, doctors and nutritionists are doing away with those terms. If you strive to consume a variety of high-fiber foods every day, you should get enough of each to cover your bases. If you’re trying to incorporate more fiber into your diet, take it slowly to avoid gastrointestinal distress.

The post Eating Beans But Not Going? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

“Look, there’s Spike,” Jimmy pointed out to us.

“What is that girl doing? Is she on rollerblades? Oh my God,” Susie snickered in disbelief.

We were on our way to the Silver Cloud for afternoon drinks, and there she was heading up Lombard Street. It was the first time I’d seen her, platinum blond hair nearly to her waist, skin pasty white as glue, decked out in spandex shorts and a dinky sports bra.

She strode east from Octavia, arms swinging, legs gliding, carefree but with direction. She stopped before the next block, swinging her hips around to the iron gate of an apartment building, and disappeared inside.

“We just saw your girlfriend, Sammy,” Susie teased to the little Vietnamese man behind the bar at Silver Cloud.

“What you mean?” Sammy asked, pouring beer into a glass.

“Spike, your little honey.”

“No. No. She not my girlfriend. I only go out with her a few times,” Sammy laughed. “She too expensive.”

“Ugh, you better watch it Sammy,” said Susie, turning serious. “I know that really, you like that girl, but you better be careful. Who knows what diseases she has. I hope you’re using protection.”

Sammy looked embarrassed. “No, she nice girl.” And that was all we talked of Spike before turning our attention to our beers and speculating on that evening’s business.

It was about a month later I got to see Spike close up when I moved into her building. Kitty, a Vietnamese friend of Sammy’s was the apartment manager and had told me one night about a vacant studio upstairs from his unit. It was the break I needed to get away from Jimmy, Susie’s brother and the guy I shared an apartment with near Haight-Ashbury. I had started to get nervous with all his cocaine-snorting buddies around.

I was caught off guard by my first exchange with Spike. I was going up the steps; she was coming down, singing very loudly some song I didn’t recognize.

“Hi. Are you Spike?” I asked, immediately regretting I’d called her that. Maybe it wasn’t her real name. I never bothered to ask.

“Oh yes. It is I, the one-and-only Spike,” she said dramatically, flicking her fingers to toss her hair off her shoulders.

“Hi. I’m Jackie. Jimmy and Susie’s friend. Sammy just hired me down at the Silver Cloud.”

“Jimmy and Susie? You’ve got to be kidding, right? Oh, I bet they’re loads of fun,” she said, not even hiding the sarcasm.

“Um, they’re O.K.,” I said, shrinking beneath her scowl.

“Yeah … well, see you around,” she brushed me off, starting back down the steps and picking up the singing again. I went to my apartment and spent a half an hour wondering about her. Who was she? And where was she going with all that makeup on and long gypsy skirt?

I soon learned that Jimmy and Susie weren’t making up what Spike did as a profession. Her unit was adjacent to mine, one floor lower. From my kitchen I could see her bathroom window, and one day, when I was being nosy, I spied down to her place to see if I could see anything. Much to my surprise, her bathroom was aglow with red light. And I witnessed the light on numerous times thereafter when I looked down to see what she was up to.

I really didn’t care what the girl was into. Rather, I laughed to myself inside at the oddity of the experience of living next to a prostitute, if she should be called that. Maybe working girl is a better term.

I found myself feeling sorry for her. She was so young – she couldn’t have been more than 25, yet she was so pale and worn looking. And how could she be so bold? Did she know she was ridiculed by the Silver Cloud circle?

I decided I’d try to befriend her. I just walked downstairs and knocked on her door one day.

“Yes?” she answered, flinging the door open. Again, I became fixated on her over-the-top regalia: long, painted-on ribbed knit dress, red, with slits to the hips and layer upon layers of makeup.

“I was just heading to work,” I said, intimidated, partly disappointed that she’d even opened the door.

She asked me in. “I was wondering if you knew about the karaoke contest tonight. It’s one-hundred dollars for the winner. You should come and try,” I told her.

“No, I don’t think so,” she grimaced. I offered myself a seat on the corner of her bed. There was no other seating. It was weird seeing her studio, which was just like mine, but reversed. Hers faced Lombard Street, mine the back garage.

“I’ll be out tonight spreading around some naughtiness,” she went on.

Oh God, I thought, not asking her to elaborate. I prayed she wouldn’t start talking about the business. My mind raced, looking around the room, trying to find a focus, something to say.

“I like your light,” I blurted out, pointing to a lava lamp on the bedside table.

“Creates a nice mood, doesn’t it?” she said and just kept going about her business picking clothes up off the floor and folding them, not even really looking at me.

“Yeah. Well, I better get going to work now,” I said and hurried out of there.

I was so relieved walking to work. I decided I was scared of Spike. I wanted so badly to know her story, but I was too much of a coward to even talk to the girl.

A few days later I was heading upstairs to my place and saw the Indian clerk from the corner market trotting down the steps. I knew him well enough from my frequent visits to the store and was surprised to see him there. He was whistling, tucking in his shirt, and his face glistened with sweat. I was repulsed.

I don’t know what ever became of Spike. I can’t even remember if she lived in the building when I moved out. She came into the Silver Cloud a couple of times to see Sammy since the day I went to her studio. When she did, she always had to suffer the wrath of Jimmy and Susie – spewing insulting comments under their breath, ignoring her presence, and even one time I remember, Susie screaming in Spike’s face about her tired skin. The poor girl always took it, too. She never even flinched.

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“New year, new me.” Sound familiar? It’s flooded every Instagram post for the past month. Every January 1st, millions of people decide it’s time to make a change — whether it’s eating healthier, working out, or cutting back on screen time. But here’s the catch: 80% of these resolutions have been abandoned already. That means out of every 100 people, only 8 have actually stuck to their goals. Crazy, right?

It’s not about having better gym equipment or more free time. It’s about exercising discipline and commitment. The 8% succeed because they rely on the CARDINAL VIRTUES. The first is prudence, the ability to discern the good and choose the right means to achieve it. In simpler terms, prudence is the ability to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way. The second virtue is justice, giving others what they are due. The third virtue is fortitude, the courage to face difficulties and persevere in the pursuit of good. The final virtue is temperance, moderation in what we do or buy or consume.

In my opinion, those who finish what they start, exercise the virtues of fortitude and temperance. Exercising fortitude looks like waking up and getting out of bed when your alarm clock goes off even though you’re exhausted. It looks like going to the gym even though your legs are so sore from the day before. Fortitude is the ability to continue to do what you set out to do in the first place.

Temperance is the ability to set oneself up for success. Temperance exercises the ability to say no to some things so that later on you can say yes to better things. Temperance is closing your laptop at 11 p.m. so that you can be fully rested for the day ahead. Temperance is not having that second serving of ice cream. But, temperance isn’t just about saying no. It can also look like, I can buy that item at the store because I had saved enough this month. Temperance is staying within your budget so that when your friend asks you to go out to dinner, you can afford it because you didn’t spend extra money on something that you didn’t really need.

In summary, exercising virtue isn’t going to make your life bland and boring, but rather, it gives you guidelines to follow so that you can live your life and live it to the fullest. So how do we make it to the end of the year so that we’re in the top 8%? We start small. Let’s say that our goal is to “get in shape.” What does that even mean? What kind of shape are we talking about? Olympic athlete, all-state champion? You get the point.

Step #1 is to make your goals more specific. “I want to live a healthier life.” That’s a great alternative. In addition, research has shown that when you have a theme for the year, it’s easier to obtain because the small things you do can fall under that theme. So let’s say this year’s theme is health.

Step #2 is to make it timely. If you’re going to focus on running, for example, your goal might be, “I want to be able to run a mile without stopping by springtime.” Then as you achieve each goal, you can bump up the next goal. Maybe your goal is to stop eating out. “I will let myself eat out once a week for a month.” Next month, you can change it to eating out once every other week. Soon, you’ll find yourself inching closer and closer to your goal.

Step #3 is to tie this goal to an action. “I am going to start running at my local gym.” Or, “I’m going to go for a run and listen to that new podcast I’ve been waiting to listen to.” There’s a win-win in that; you run and you get to listen to your podcast.

Step #4 is to make your goal attainable. While some people can start habits by going all in, more often than not, you need to ease your way into things. If you don’t work out, don’t expect to work out for an hour every day. Make it manageable. “I’m going to work out 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes.” Start slow and know your limits. Start slow and set realistic expectations. Knowing your limits doesn’t make you weak — it makes you smart.

Feel like you got a good idea? Go ahead and write yours down. The truth is that it’s never too late to start and today is the best day to begin. Don’t think in terms of tomorrow when it comes to building a new habit. Start thinking in terms of Day #1. But the truth is, you’re going to mess up. You’ll miss a day of working out or whatever your plan is. Realize that you’re not perfect and that’s okay. But don’t let that get you down. Think about it this way: if you forgot to brush your teeth one day, would you wake up the next and say, “Well I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday, that stinks. I guess I won’t brush them today or ever again.” No! That’s one, gross, and two, so silly.

Let this year be new for you, with a new mindset, and a new outlook on life. Life is going to be a challenge so make it a game. Make it fun and don’t give up. You’ll see the change happen over time!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/02/11/this-is-the-month-when-new-years-resolutions-fail-heres-how-to-save-them/

The post Achieve Greatness with Discipline and the Cardinal Virtues appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

My grandpa always says how he fell in love with my grandmother’s big brown eyes.

He says I have her big brown eyes.

Although, I wish people would look past my big brown eyes.

I wish people would look at the way I sympathize.

Look at the way I’m paralyzed by my fear and my worries.

Every night I have this recurring dream.

I wake up in a sea on a thin sheet of wood.

This sea slowly changes from calm to raging.

My brain starts disengaging.

I lose track of the things in my life.

These big brown eyes don’t just smile.

They cry rivers of tears

Flooding my senses

and Making me senseless.

These big brown eyes need to be wiped.

They need to be cared for.

They need to be prepared for the hardships to come.

These big brown eyes need someone to step closer and realize they aren’t just brown

But green, and a little yellow when the sun hits them just right.

The only emotion they have isn’t sadness

But a mix of confusion and pride.

These big brown eyes need someone to guide them home.

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