Lent has a way of making us ask questions we might rather avoid.

It asks us to give something up, to examine our motives, to sit in the quiet spaces we usually fill with noise. And this year, one question keeps returning for me:

Am I truly loving people — or am I just trying to earn their love?

I think about the lengths I sometimes go to for certain people. The extra effort. The carefully chosen words. Anticipating their needs before they ask. On the surface, it looks generous. It even feels generous. Most of the time I believe it is, when I examine it.

But when I look honestly at my own heart, I sometimes see something less pure. I see how easily my “love” can become effort. Performance. Positioning.

There are people I know who do not particularly like me. Some I don’t especially enjoy either. And yet I feel something come over me — a determination to win them over. To soften them. To change their hearts and minds.

So I offer help. Extend invitations. Show up generously.

I tell myself this is Christlike love.
I tell myself I am loving my enemies.

But if I am honest, there is often another voice underneath:

If I do enough, maybe they will choose me.
If I am useful enough, maybe I will belong.
If I am good enough, maybe I will be seen.

This year, Lent is not letting that voice stay hidden.

So I sit with the harder question: If I knew I would receive nothing in return — no praise, no validation, no reassurance — would I still show up the same way? Mostly yes, but truly, sometime no.

If I earn love, I’ll be happier.
If I earn admiration, I deserve it.
If I earn belonging, I’ve won.

But love that must be earned is not love at all. Why is it so hard to be at peace accepting God’s pure love? Why does it feel like it’s not enough?

Many of us learned early that love had conditions: be helpful, be impressive, be indispensable, be easy, be more. So we spend our lives trying to become worthy of affection rather than simply receiving it. I sometimes feel like I’ve squandered my whole life chasing love.

But the love Lent points us toward cannot be earned. It can only be received. And when we begin to believe we are already loved without performance, something changes.

We start to love without bargaining.
We serve without needing applause.
We give without quietly keeping receipts.

This Lenten season, I am asking God to purify my motives — to teach me how to love without trying to secure something in return.

Because the more I sit with the question that began this reflection, the more I realize how easily love can become something else — a quiet attempt to secure approval, belonging, or reassurance.

And perhaps the deeper work of Lent is learning to let that go.

To stop trying to earn what has already been given.

To trust that being loved does not depend on how well we perform.

And from that place, to return to the original question — not with certainty, but with honesty:

Am I loving people … or am I still trying to earn love from them? As always, we are works in progress.

The post Are We Truly Loving People, or Just Trying to Win Them? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

I’ve built my own little catalog of commonly misused words over the course of a few years. These are the words that reliably make me wince, the ones I notice every single time they’re used incorrectly.

Some of them are grotesque, though some can make me laugh.

You may have your own kind of list like this. Certain words that, once they’re on your radar, you can’t not notice. They jump out at you mid-sentence and quietly ruin your flow. So now I’m curious … what’s on your list?

SPIEL: Turns out, I’ve had this one backwards. I always thought pronouncing it shpiel was wrong, but it’s actually correct. The word comes from Yiddish, and even though it’s spelled spiel, it’s meant to be pronounced shpiel.

• Example: “He gave a long shpiel about his investment strategy.”

FROU-FROU, NOT FOO-FOO: Working in the hospitality industry, I hear this tons. “I don’t like foo-foo drinks” is what they’ll say. Definition: fancy, showy, or frilly ornamentation. I never correct them.

• Example: “That restaurant’s decor is a little too frou-frou for my taste.”

Recurring, NOT Reoccurring: You can use the word “reoccurring,” but only when you’re speaking of something that happens again, but not on a regular basis.

• Example: “There’s a likely chance storms will reoccur today.”
  Recur is when something happens at regular intervals.
• Example: “My recurring dream came back last night.”

MYRIAD: This word simply means “many.”

Even in otherwise polished, professional articles, myriad is often made more complicated than it actually is.

• Incorrect: There was a myriad of options.
• Correct: There were myriad options.
• Example: “She has myriad reasons for loving that city.”

REAL-TOR, NOT REAL-A-TOR: Very few people use the correct one here, sometimes not even the realtor themselves. It’s a trademark name.

• Example: “I spoke to my real-tor about listing the house.”

IRREGARDLESS: In dictionaries this is listed as “nonstandard” or “incorrect” usage. Regardless means “without regard.” So, when you say irregardless, what you’re really saying is: without without (twice) regard.

• Incorrect: “Irregardless of the weather, we’ll still go hiking.”
• Correct: “Regardless of the weather, we’ll still go hiking.”

JIBE, NOT JIVE: This is another one the dictionary lists, though considers non-standard. It’s become so common over the years that it’s starting to be looked at as acceptable.

• Incorrect: That story doesn’t jive with me.
• Correct: That story doesn’t jibe with me.
• Example: “His version of events just doesn’t jibe with the evidence.”

LITERALLY: This one drives me nuts. People often use “literally” for emphasis, when they mean “figuratively.”

• Literally means something actually happened, exactly as stated.
• Figuratively means something is being expressed as a figure of speech or exaggeration — not actually true.
• Incorrect: I literally died laughing. (You didn’t actually die.)
• Correct: I figuratively died laughing. (You’re exaggerating for effect.)
• Example: “She was so embarrassed, she literally wanted to crawl under the table.” (Better: figuratively wanted to crawl.)

BEMUSED vs. AMUSED: Bemused means confused or bewildered, not entertained.

• Incorrect: I was bemused by the comedian.
• Correct: I was amused by the comedian.
• Example: “He looked bemused when we explained the rules.”

NAUSEOUS vs. NAUSEATED: Nauseous means causing nausea, while nauseated means feeling nausea.

• Incorrect: I felt nauseous after the ride.
• Correct: I felt nauseated after the ride.
• Example: “The smell of the paint made me nauseated.”

“SUPPOSED,” NOT “SUPPOSABLY” (Also Correct: “Supposedly”)

This mistake shows up a lot in casual conversation. “Supposably” is not a word. The correct phrase is “supposed to,” and it’s used for plans, expectations, or obligations.

• Incorrect: I’m supposably meeting her later.
• Correct: I’m supposed to meet her later.
• Example: You’re supposed to finish your homework before dinner.

“Supposedly” is a real word, but it has a different meaning: it indicates something that people say or believe, but might not be true.

• Example: She’s supposedly the best singer in the class.
• Example: The movie is supposedly very funny.

FLAMMABLE vs. INFLAMMABLE

Ironically, “flammable” and “inflammable” mean the same thing: easily set on fire.

The word “inflammable” can be confusing because people sometimes assume the “in-” prefix means “not,” but in this case, it doesn’t.

Example:

• Keep all flammable liquids away from the stove.
• Keep all inflammable liquids away from the stove. (Means the same thing, but “flammable” is safer for clarity.)

I COULD CARE LESS vs. I COULDN’T CARE LESS: Saying “I could care less” implies you do care at least a little, which is the opposite of what people mean.

• Incorrect: I could care less about that show.
• Correct: I couldn’t care less about that show.

DON’T vs. DOESN’T: (Yes, This Is Still a Problem)

• Don’t = I, you, we, they → I don’t get it.
• Doesn’t = he, she, it → She doesn’t get it.

If you say “he don’t,” “she don’t,” or “it don’t,” somewhere an English teacher just died a little. Don’t do it. Ever.

The post One Spiel on Misused Words appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Let’s talk about something that has quietly become a social plague: ghosting and unfriending.

I’m speaking from experience here. Few things are more irritating than sending a message — personal or professional — and watching it vanish into the digital void. No response. No acknowledgment. Just your dignity and hope slowly evaporating. It feels rude because it is rude. And cowardly. Because it usually is that, too.

Somehow, in the digital age, we’ve managed to make disappearing from people easier than ever — no awkward conversations, no explanations, no emotional responsibility required. Just silence. Yay, technology!

Zero Empathy Is Maximum Convenience

Ghosting — dropping out of conversations without a word or never responding in the first place — has become weirdly normalized. It’s often justified as “protecting peace” or “avoiding awkwardness,” but let’s be honest: most of the time it’s about avoiding discomfort.

And avoidance has a cost.

When we ghost someone, we’re essentially saying, “Your feelings are less important than my momentary unease.” That’s not neutral behavior; it’s a choice.

In Christian tradition, we’re called to treat others with dignity and respect. Ghosting skips that step entirely. It’s not just impolite; it can cross into sinful territory when it consistently dismisses empathy and accountability.

Full disclosure: I’ve done it before. I’m not writing this from a moral high horse; it’s more from lots of self-awareness and reflection. Once you start recognizing the pattern, it’s hard to un-see it.

Professional Ghosting Even with Resumes

Ghosting has also gone corporate.

Professional ghosting is now fully institutionalized, especially in hiring. Candidates apply, interview, follow up, and then hear absolutely nothing. No rejection. No update. Just radio silence. The same thing happens with project pitches, collaborations, and professional outreach.

This isn’t just annoying; it’s disrespectful. People invest time, energy, and hope into these interactions. Ignoring that effort signals a complete lack of accountability. And yes, I could make the argument that this behavior negatively affects the economy, too, but that’s another article.

Ghosting also shows up at work in subtler ways: unanswered emails, clients who disappear mid-project, colleagues and co-workers who stop responding altogether. This creates confusion, resentment, and a culture where avoidance becomes the norm. Trust erodes. Morale drops.

I’ve experienced this not only professionally but even with church leaders. And honestly? A simple “yes” or “no” to an inquiry would suffice. Silence isn’t kindness — it’s indifference. Have some guts.

Hurt People Unfriend People

Unfriending is a little different. It’s more deliberate, often framed as “curating our social landscape.” Which sounds very calm and intentional until you realize it’s sometimes just emotional fallout with better branding.

We should ask ourselves: Are we unfriending because someone is truly harmful, or because we’re hurt and don’t know what to do with it?

Often, unfriending is less about the other person and more about unresolved feelings: anger, disappointment, jealousy, or plain exhaustion. Cutting someone off can feel empowering, but it can also be a way to avoid dealing with pain. And avoidance, again, has consequences.

When we unfriend without reflection, we lose the opportunity for conversation, growth, or reconciliation. We choose distance over dialogue and safety over maturity. Sometimes that’s necessary, but often it’s just easier.

Loneliness Spiral

In a world already struggling with isolation, habitual disconnection makes things worse. Ghosting and unfriending can create a vicious cycle: hurt leads to withdrawal, withdrawal leads to loneliness, and loneliness hardens us further.

Compassion isn’t always comfortable. It requires engagement, honesty, and sometimes difficult conversations. This doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior, but it does mean being intentional rather than reactive.

Before cutting someone off, consider whether a conversation could bring clarity. Not every relationship can or should be saved, but not every one needs to be quietly buried either.

Choosing Accountability Over Disappearing

At the heart of all this is accountability. Technology gives us endless ways to disengage without consequence, but that doesn’t make it right.

Before ghosting or unfriending, pause. Ask yourself this:

• Am I avoiding discomfort or protecting myself?
• Is silence actually kinder than honesty?
• What would it look like to respond with maturity instead?

Every message you ignore belongs to a real person. One who deserves at least the courtesy of acknowledgment.

We can do better. And we should.

The post Silence Isn’t Golden; It’s Just Rude! appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

When things seem off, chaotic, or just plain strange, we’re quick to ask this: “Is there a full moon tonight?” For centuries, people have believed that the full moon brings out unusual behavior in humans. From emergency room surges to bizarre public incidents, stories about the “lunar effect” are widespread in both folklore and modern culture. But is there any truth to these claims?

The History of Full Moon Lore

Beliefs about the full moon’s power date back to ancient civilizations. The word lunatic comes from luna, the Latin word for moon, reflecting the long-standing belief that lunar cycles influence mental health and behavior. Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the full moon could incite madness, while in medieval Europe, it was linked to werewolves, witches, and sorcery.

In modern times, emergency service workers, police officers, and hospital staff often share anecdotal evidence of heightened activity during full moons. Sergeant Al Shaffer, with the Newark Police Department, tells us this: “As a 29-year veteran of the Newark Police Department, I’ve seen my share of wild nights. More times than I can count, I’ve heard officers say, ‘It must be a full moon.’ And, truth be told, sometimes it actually was.”

The Moon’s Gravitational Pull: More Than Just Tides?

It’s a scientific fact that the moon’s gravitational pull affects Earth’s tides. But it does more than raise and lower ocean levels. In fact, the moon actually tugs on the Earth itself — ever so slightly stretching the planet into an oval shape, especially near the equator. Scientists call this “Earth tide” and though the shift is tiny — measured in centimeters — it’s a real and measurable deformation of the planet’s surface.

Now consider this: if the moon can pull at the Earth’s crust and move entire oceans, could it also affect our bodies, which are composed mostly of water? Some researchers and spiritual thinkers speculate that even if the effects are too subtle to measure directly, they may influence us subconsciously. Our circadian rhythms, hormonal cycles, and even mood might be nudged ever so slightly by the moon’s phases. While science hasn’t conclusively proven this, it remains a compelling line of thought that fuels continued research and curiosity.

This can be compared to women’s menstrual cycles. Men, take note — many don’t even realize what’s happening during a period. The body is shedding an unfertilized egg, contracting and flushing out material that’s no longer needed. It’s a natural force, just like the pull of a full moon. And while women often get dismissed as “cranky” or “PMS-ing,” it’s undeniable that these forces, though unconscious, have real impact on mood.

The Power of Expectation and Perception

One major factor contributing to the belief in full moon effects is confirmation bias. If someone expects strange things to happen during a full moon, they are more likely to notice and remember odd incidents — and less likely to recall similar events on other nights. This phenomenon plays a powerful role in shaping our perceptions and reinforcing superstitions.

Sgt. Shaffer explained it this way: “When I step back and look at it more carefully, the evidence just isn’t there. Studies show very little proof that full moons cause more crimes or 911 calls. What really seems to happen is something called confirmation bias. Here’s how it works: if I have a very busy night on patrol, then look up and see the full moon, I connect the two. That ‘confirms’ the old belief, even if the moon had nothing to do with it.”

Additionally, the media often highlights bizarre stories that coincide with the full moon, further embedding the idea that the moon influences behavior.

So, Does the Full Moon Really Change Us?

It doesn’t seem so. “The truth is, there’s no strong statistical link between moon cycles and crime. The real reasons for busy nights are things like alcohol, large crowds, holidays, or big events in the city,” Sgt. Shaffer said.

“Still, the folklore around the full moon isn’t going away. People like to find meaning in what they see, and a glowing full moon is a powerful symbol. Even today, after a hectic shift, you might still hear officers say, ‘It must be a full moon.’ Sometimes it is — and sometimes it’s not,” he said.

The moon has pulled at the Earth since time began. Maybe it’s not so far-fetched to think it tugs at us, too.

The post It Must Be the Full Moon appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Beautiful beans. I love them, and in fact, they’re my biggest protein source. Telling people this usually elicits a chuckle and response about their inability to handle the end-result after eating them. However, the fiber in beans can actually slow things down in that area – No. 2-wise – not the opposite. It took me a long time to figure this out.

Fiber is simply plant material. Unlike carbohydrates, it has no calories or food energy in it. Instead of being broken down and absorbed into the bloodstream, fiber simply passes through the entire digestive tract, acting like a broom by “sweeping” out crap. Sometimes it’s counterproductive, though, if we consume too much. We think, well, it’s fiber and it’s healthy, so my bowel movements should be regular, right? Not so. The type of fiber you’re eating makes all the difference in the world by regulating how quickly you’ll go.

Very roughly, people need about 25-30 grams of fiber a day, though most only get about 15. On a personal note, I think I take in about twice the daily amount, due to my love of vegetables, and it’s wreaked havoc on my digestive system. I think I’ve figured out a perfect diet solution – I just won’t eat at all. Kidding, but it is funny when you think you’re doing good things for your body, you could actually be doing more harm.

SOLUBLE fibers – Slows down No. 2s

This type of fiber attracts water and forms a gel, which slows down digestion. It delays the emptying of your stomach and keeps you feel full longer. It bulks and expands while it sits in your intestinal tract for awhile. It slows down the absorption of sugar and fat in the blood, helping regulate blood sugar levels. It also binds and removes cholesterol from your blood stream.

Sources of SOLUBLE fiber:

• Beans
• Oatmeal, oat bran
• Fruits like: apples, plums, oranges, bananas and blackberries
• Veggies like: carrots, squash, beets, potatoes, sweet potatoes – Think “starchy”

INSOLUBLE fibers – Speeds up No. 2s 

This type of fiber has a laxative effect because it doesn’t dissolve in water, so it passes through the gastrointestinal tract quickly without breaking down, and speeds up the passage of food and waste through your gut. If insoluble fiber gives you digestion problems, you can: Remove peels from your veggies; dice, chop or mash to make them easier to break down; eat them well-cooked, by either steaming, boiling or braising.

Sources of INSOLUBLE fiber:

• Whole grains
• Fruits like: Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, pears
• Veggies like: leafy greens, corn, green beans, celery, onion, broccoli, cabbage

All fibers have a soluble/insoluble ratio. Because of this, doctors and nutritionists are doing away with those terms. If you strive to consume a variety of high-fiber foods every day, you should get enough of each to cover your bases. If you’re trying to incorporate more fiber into your diet, take it slowly to avoid gastrointestinal distress.

The post Eating Beans But Not Going? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

“Look, there’s Spike,” Jimmy pointed out to us.

“What is that girl doing? Is she on rollerblades? Oh my God,” Susie snickered in disbelief.

We were on our way to the Silver Cloud for afternoon drinks, and there she was heading up Lombard Street. It was the first time I’d seen her, platinum blond hair nearly to her waist, skin pasty white as glue, decked out in spandex shorts and a dinky sports bra.

She strode east from Octavia, arms swinging, legs gliding, carefree but with direction. She stopped before the next block, swinging her hips around to the iron gate of an apartment building, and disappeared inside.

“We just saw your girlfriend, Sammy,” Susie teased to the little Vietnamese man behind the bar at Silver Cloud.

“What you mean?” Sammy asked, pouring beer into a glass.

“Spike, your little honey.”

“No. No. She not my girlfriend. I only go out with her a few times,” Sammy laughed. “She too expensive.”

“Ugh, you better watch it Sammy,” said Susie, turning serious. “I know that really, you like that girl, but you better be careful. Who knows what diseases she has. I hope you’re using protection.”

Sammy looked embarrassed. “No, she nice girl.” And that was all we talked of Spike before turning our attention to our beers and speculating on that evening’s business.

It was about a month later I got to see Spike close up when I moved into her building. Kitty, a Vietnamese friend of Sammy’s was the apartment manager and had told me one night about a vacant studio upstairs from his unit. It was the break I needed to get away from Jimmy, Susie’s brother and the guy I shared an apartment with near Haight-Ashbury. I had started to get nervous with all his cocaine-snorting buddies around.

I was caught off guard by my first exchange with Spike. I was going up the steps; she was coming down, singing very loudly some song I didn’t recognize.

“Hi. Are you Spike?” I asked, immediately regretting I’d called her that. Maybe it wasn’t her real name. I never bothered to ask.

“Oh yes. It is I, the one-and-only Spike,” she said dramatically, flicking her fingers to toss her hair off her shoulders.

“Hi. I’m Jackie. Jimmy and Susie’s friend. Sammy just hired me down at the Silver Cloud.”

“Jimmy and Susie? You’ve got to be kidding, right? Oh, I bet they’re loads of fun,” she said, not even hiding the sarcasm.

“Um, they’re O.K.,” I said, shrinking beneath her scowl.

“Yeah … well, see you around,” she brushed me off, starting back down the steps and picking up the singing again. I went to my apartment and spent a half an hour wondering about her. Who was she? And where was she going with all that makeup on and long gypsy skirt?

I soon learned that Jimmy and Susie weren’t making up what Spike did as a profession. Her unit was adjacent to mine, one floor lower. From my kitchen I could see her bathroom window, and one day, when I was being nosy, I spied down to her place to see if I could see anything. Much to my surprise, her bathroom was aglow with red light. And I witnessed the light on numerous times thereafter when I looked down to see what she was up to.

I really didn’t care what the girl was into. Rather, I laughed to myself inside at the oddity of the experience of living next to a prostitute, if she should be called that. Maybe working girl is a better term.

I found myself feeling sorry for her. She was so young – she couldn’t have been more than 25, yet she was so pale and worn looking. And how could she be so bold? Did she know she was ridiculed by the Silver Cloud circle?

I decided I’d try to befriend her. I just walked downstairs and knocked on her door one day.

“Yes?” she answered, flinging the door open. Again, I became fixated on her over-the-top regalia: long, painted-on ribbed knit dress, red, with slits to the hips and layer upon layers of makeup.

“I was just heading to work,” I said, intimidated, partly disappointed that she’d even opened the door.

She asked me in. “I was wondering if you knew about the karaoke contest tonight. It’s one-hundred dollars for the winner. You should come and try,” I told her.

“No, I don’t think so,” she grimaced. I offered myself a seat on the corner of her bed. There was no other seating. It was weird seeing her studio, which was just like mine, but reversed. Hers faced Lombard Street, mine the back garage.

“I’ll be out tonight spreading around some naughtiness,” she went on.

Oh God, I thought, not asking her to elaborate. I prayed she wouldn’t start talking about the business. My mind raced, looking around the room, trying to find a focus, something to say.

“I like your light,” I blurted out, pointing to a lava lamp on the bedside table.

“Creates a nice mood, doesn’t it?” she said and just kept going about her business picking clothes up off the floor and folding them, not even really looking at me.

“Yeah. Well, I better get going to work now,” I said and hurried out of there.

I was so relieved walking to work. I decided I was scared of Spike. I wanted so badly to know her story, but I was too much of a coward to even talk to the girl.

A few days later I was heading upstairs to my place and saw the Indian clerk from the corner market trotting down the steps. I knew him well enough from my frequent visits to the store and was surprised to see him there. He was whistling, tucking in his shirt, and his face glistened with sweat. I was repulsed.

I don’t know what ever became of Spike. I can’t even remember if she lived in the building when I moved out. She came into the Silver Cloud a couple of times to see Sammy since the day I went to her studio. When she did, she always had to suffer the wrath of Jimmy and Susie – spewing insulting comments under their breath, ignoring her presence, and even one time I remember, Susie screaming in Spike’s face about her tired skin. The poor girl always took it, too. She never even flinched.

The post Spike – The Girl Next Door appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

I moved to San Francisco at age 21 in the mid ’90s thinking I was going to take the world by storm – that I was going to be the Pat Benatar of the grunge movement. With just a few boxes and a few hundred dollars, I was easily and quickly able to finagle housing and a job. I quickly learned that one job would not be enough, though. I didn’t know it at the time, but one choice I made then would squash my dreams of rockstardom: I could either live comfortably in my own studio in the posh neighborhood of the Marina; I lived on famous Lombard Street, known as the “crookedest street in the world.” That meant I would have to work multiple jobs in order to maintain that lifestyle. Or, I could choose to live the life of a beggar, in squalor, camping out on someone’s living room floor in Haight Ashbury while I pursued my singing aspirations. I chose to have my own place.

Serving jobs were easy to come by simply because of the cornucopia of restaurants in every direction. There was lots of competition for employment at the upper-echelon spots in the city; interviews, usually performed by entire management staffs, felt like auditions. “How would you describe quail to your patrons and what wine might best be served with it?” Coming from a southeastern Ohio meat-and-potatoes town like Zanesville, I wasn’t exactly sure. I could have shared with them my experiences while employed at Shoney’s or Western Sizzlin, and even spieled a passionate description of the baked potato bar and what flavor of “pop” paired best with it. I always seemed to successfully muster through these interviews, though – I think it was merely because of my youth; I would look good twirling out on the restaurant floor. And I was fine with that.

This arrogant attitude went with me into the restaurants that were foolish enough to take me in, like Zuni Cafe, a quintessentially uber-trendy spot flanking where the Mission and South of Market districts converge, a bustling locale.

Zuni Café’s menu epitomized what is referred to as California cuisine: a style of fusion cooking with a strong emphasis on using fresh, locally grown and produced foods. As such, menus at Zuni changed daily, transforming the kitchen into a culinary school for the servers at the commencement of every shift. You would think one might embrace the opportunity to be presented with such knowledge, but I didn’t. I was usually daydreaming about something else.

And it showed once I was out on the frontline facing patrons. “What can you tell us about the radicchio salad?” I very clearly remember a young couple asking me once. “It’s bitter,” was my eloquent reply.

I always looked at gay men as being the superstars of these haute eateries, with their fanciful movements and five-star know-how; they really had their act together, and I always wanted to please and be liked by them, but often fell quite short. “It’s called ‘poe-day crim’ one of them told me once, rolling his eyes, referring to “pots de crème” when I mangled the pronunciation with “pots day cream.”

Judy Rodgers, the owner of Zuni, was a culinary leader in San Francisco, revered because of her ability to transform the way people think about using seasonal ingredients. Her published cookbook: “The Zuni Café Cookbook,” showcasing her flair for creating “simultaneously rustic and urbane” French and Italian dishes, was lauded by some of the most respectable publications across the country. She is well known, even amongst some of Columbus’ finest chefs. I recall standing before her one afternoon as she was pulling a pan out of the oven with what looked like slices of lemon wedges sprinkled with brown sugar. When I asked if they were, in fact, lemons, she looked at me and simply said “They’re figs,” before turning away.

At the end of my shift, I was called into the management office and told that I was fired because Chef Judy was “horrified” by my lack of food knowledge.

I distinctively remember walking home that afternoon and feeling truly scared for the first time in my life. There were other jobs I had at the time; it wasn’t so much about money, but fear in the knowledge that I was going to have to straighten up, take things seriously. Being thousands of miles away from home, there was no one around to hold my hand, walk me through. My ego was so battered and it was very humbling to realize I really wasn’t the center of the universe. I can truly pinpoint that transformational experience as the moment I became an adult. I’ve always strived to be my very best since that time, in all things … and to be sure, I especially try to know as much as I can about food.

Thanks Chef Judy … and rest in peace.

* Editor’s Note: Article was written circa 2000 and has been published twice elsewhere.

The post ‘You’re Fired!’ Noted Chef ‘Horrifed’ at my Food Knowledge appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

SYMMETRY IS BEAUTY

I’ve often read that physical beauty lies in bodily and facial symmetry. Evolutionary theorists explain that symmetric faces are a greater sign of fitness and superior genetics, a characteristic evolved to help individuals choose the healthiest mate. Any deviation from symmetry – asymmetry – often points to unattractiveness, perhaps someone unfit or diseased, leading us not to want to mix with that particular partner. This is what “they” say anyway.

WHY ARE SOME OF US ASYMMETRIC?

While many scientists claim that these symmetries are a sure sign of biological fitness, it is possible that symmetry, or lack thereof, is not due to genetics, but the amount of exposure to stressors during bodily development. It can only be one or the other that is responsible for our funky body sides. Sometimes we’re born with oddball parts, like when one of our limbs is longer than the other; sometimes we build them on our own, as we see in athletes with differences in muscular makeup; and some are brought on by environmental factors from an early age, like nutrition, pollution or cigarette smoke. Still though, one has to wonder if these asymmetries do in fact, influence our overall fitness. Would we doomed to not attract a mate? And, because I have one breast that’s fattier than the other, does that mean it’s more prone to breast cancer? Or, if my leg is shorter than the other, will I have joint problems in my lifetime?

NEW-AGE IDEAS

There are even new-age explanations on body symmetries. One interesting one I found explains it this way: the left side of the body is the feminine side and represents the mother. The right is regarded as the masculine side, representing the father. When we continually have problems with one particular side of the body, it can mean there are issues with the parent – represented on that particular side – which have not been settled.

BRAIN HEMISPHERES

How do brain hemispheres factor into bodily symmetries? They don’t really; they are symmetries of their own, although with asymmetrical roles, working as “duel-core” processors. They have no control over bodily aesthetics, only functions. It’s difficult to read about body symmetries, however, and not have this topic included alongside.

DO SLEEP POSITIONS FACTOR IN?

Back to environmental factors affecting symmetry, I’ve wondered whether my sleeping patterns have an effect on this. It is known that the position you sleep in affects your health: lying on your back is the worse for sleep apnea, sleeping on the left eases heartburn and acid reflux, etc. There are many pros and cons for all positions. I believe that our bodies behave in certain ways – evolutionary protective strategies – to protect us from danger. I often worry about heart disease since it runs in my family. It has been found that sleeping on the right side – which I always do – helps with heart function. Sleeping on the left is related to heart enlargement and can contribute to dysfunction. In regard to my body’s symmetry, perhaps my right eyebrow is so much higher because of years of my face being smashed in my pillow on that size. Who knows;)

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Ah, the classic, typical phrase: “It is what it is.” A true gem of linguistic laziness, perfect for those moments when you want to sound profound without actually saying anything of substance. Instead of offering insight or empathy, it throws up a white flag and surrenders to the chaos of life. Congratulations! You’ve just won the award for Most Unhelpful Response.

You know what takes effort? Actual engagement. Acknowledging feelings. Problem-solving. “It is what it is” is the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders while scrolling through your phone. It’s lazy and dismissive. It is NOT what it is. Fight!! Find a solution. A real conversation might involve some actual thought — imagine the horror!

And let’s not forget how it kills conversations. When you say this, you might as well be saying, “I’m done talking; let’s move on to something less meaningful.”

Next time you feel tempted to lean on this tired cliche, consider a little creativity in your response instead. How about something like, “Life’s a mess, I know.” At least it acknowledges the struggle without pretending it’s just a shrug-worthy fact of life. Remember, the next time someone hits you with “It is what it is,” you have every right to roll your eyes and demand a better conversation.

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I once lost 30 pounds over the course of about 3 months when I adopted a vegan diet. Those days are gone for now, but even more so than cutting out all animal products, I eliminated ALL white stuff – pasta, breads, rice – and I feel this more than anything contributed to that slim-down.

Neanderthals never ate grains. It wasn’t until about 10,000 years ago that Middle-Easterners learned how to make wheat digestible by grinding and cooking it.

And yet, we’ve grown up thinking that grains are healthy for us. While this is true for some of them, many of us have been fed a steady diet of refined grains, ripped of completely all nutrients. What we’re really doing to ourselves when we eat it is loading our bodies up with sugar. Here’s why.

When grains are refined, they are altered from their natural state by stripping selective elements away. What’s left gets bleached and grinded and refined even further with the addition of additives in an effort to “enrich” it.

Carbohydrates are broken down in our bodies into glucose, which is what our bodies use for energy. Refined grains are considered simple carbohydrates, meaning that they’re made of only a couple sugar molecules that are easy to pull apart and digest. This quick digestion delivers a big sugar rush that is usually followed by a lethargic crash. Other food that falls into this category are: sodas, baked goods, candies and unfortunately … beer.

It is with great sadness I must acknowledge that when I have a beer, I’m merely drinking a liquid doughnut.

All carbohydrates break down into glucose, however, complex carbohydrates, like what is found in whole grains, beans and vegetables, have more molecules, making them slower to break down, contributing to longer-lasting energy.

When glucose is swimming around in our bloodstreams, the pancreas produces insulin, which helps direct that glucose into the cells of our organs – it’s fuel. The more glucose in your body, the more insulin the pancreas churns out. Over time, cells can’t keep up with all the insulin (Insulin Resistance). So what happens? More insulin is made to try to combat the glucose. Over time, this will eventually wear out the pancreas. These processes can lead to OBESITY, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure … you name it.

I always check labels when I’m at the grocery store, with breads and pastas in particular. Many of them are sold under the guise of being healthy when they might not be. Always look for “WHOLE” grain on the label. If it’s not there, and especially if it says “ENRICHED,” throw it back.

I’m not militant on these things. It’s tough to follow all of the food rules, and with grains especially it’s sometimes more convenient to have the refined ones. Have you ever heard of a whole-grain pizza crust? You’ll be hard-pressed to find one I’m sure. I tried experimenting with my own, without much luck … so far. I am not giving up pizza, though, so refined flour will just have to do at those times. I advocate simply being mindful of what we do to our bodies, and just make some effort in spots where we think we’ll be successful. A little is better than nothing.

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