When I was younger, I remember sometimes being told, “Your words have power.” For a long time, I thought that expression was rather silly. It came across to me as an empty platitude masquerading as an inspirational quote which parents and teachers told their kids. How could words have “power”? They are nothing more than our means to communicate with each other. As long as I was not hurting anyone’s feelings, I wasn’t doing anything wrong...or so I thought. The way most people talk to each other has drastically changed in the past few decades. Words, phrases, and jokes are being spoken that would have been absolutely shocking a century ago. Foul language was only spoken by those who were considered “indecent.” Now words like the F-bomb are so commonplace that even children will speak them in conversation. But why does this actually matter? Just because certain ways of speaking were taboo in some other outdated culture doesn’t mean that they are now. How can things like swearing, sexual humor, and sarcasm be a problem? Well, because words really do have power. In fact, they are one of the most powerful forces in the world. Since words are our way of communicating what we think and feel, they have a direct influence on everyone who hears them. For example, I bet you aren’t thinking about donuts right now, but now that I have mentioned them, you probably are. To take it even further, imagine a large, fluffy donut with a thick layer of shimmering glaze on the outside. It is soft to the touch, and the glaze is so fresh that its gooey texture sticks to your fingers. I’m willing to bet that now you probably are not just thinking about a donut, but you are starting to want one. Perhaps you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t like glazed donuts for some strange reason. But even then, what you just read prompted you to some sort of reaction. No matter what, when we communicate verbally to another person, we are influencing what they think about, and sometimes even the way that they think. In fact, by reading this very article you are being influenced in some way. Whether that be toward agreement or disagreement with my point, you are thinking more deeply about this topic than you were before you started reading.

But what you say doesn’t just affect others; it also affects you.

The words that we say begin with a thought in our own minds, and when we speak that thought, it actually reinforces our thinking. Psychological evidence shows that if someone repeats a certain phrase numerous times daily over the course of a few weeks, it can actually rewire that person’s brain to come to believe that statement, even if they did not believe it before. Some communist countries have used this as a tactic in their re-education camps for POWs. By making their prisoners repeatedly speak phrases and sentences that are affirming to their communist regime, they eventually start to question what they believe to be true. This can clearly be seen in our own behavior. For example, I used to work for a Catholic ministry that hosted overnight retreats for teens. There was one group of boys that was adamant about how much they did not want to be there. All they did was complain. There was one moment when everyone was eating breakfast. I remember quite a few teens on the retreat complimenting the food. They enjoyed it and wanted seconds. But not this group. They tried it and thought it was so gross that they refused to eat any more. Same food. Same day. Totally different attitude. By constantly reinforcing the idea that everything at the camp was a bad experience, they convinced themselves that the food, which was ordinarily enjoyable, was disgusting. If our words have such an effect on others and on ourselves, then we need to take a closer look at the kinds of things that have become normal in our modern culture’s communication. It only takes a couple of minutes on the Internet to see that our world is full of swearing, sexual humor, complaining, and negativity towards others and oneself. These trends in speech are very destructive. Although we might not think that it means anything, when we use foul language and curse words we are choosing to carelessly throw around racial slurs, sexual euphemisms, vulgarities, and more.

There seems to be some dark part of us that revels in speaking an evil word for its own sake, and that ought to concern us. Vulgar sexual humor is even more destructive. Sex is one of the most sacred aspects of being human. It is created to be the deepest expression of love between two individuals, and it serves as the foundation of a healthy family. When sex is misused and removed from its proper context, as it is so severely in the modern day, it destroys families and damages one’s ability to love purely and authentically. When the jokes that we make lead us to rejoice in the perversion of sexuality, we are setting ourselves up for failure and influencing ourselves to see others as sexual objects rather than people.

There are so many ways speech can significantly impact us, negatively and positively. But my encouragement to you is this: if you still are not convinced, I challenge you to try to spot how the things that you hear others say seem to affect you and/or themselves. The Bible describes the tongue as a rudder that steers a ship. What we say is so powerful that it can literally steer the direction of our lives, or even the lives of others. If you want to do good, speak what is good and virtuous to others, and encourage them to do the same. If we can change our culture’s speech, we might just be able to change the world.