Is It Possible to Break Away from Addictive Social Media Behaviors?

Roughly seven-in-ten Americans use social media. In fact, our time spent online is increasing, especially among teens, according to The Pew Research Center. And it’s teens, research suggests, who are more likely to exhibit addictive behaviors with it.

It Happened to Me

I was addicted to social media. Plain and simple. Whenever I had free time, I’d click on an app and wait impatiently as it uploaded. Then, I’d scroll through page after page hoping to see what? I’m not sure. Perhaps to see what people were doing. I was feeling lonely. My life was less than perfect.

One aspect of social media addiction revolves around the need for constant validation. As human beings, we seek connection with others, to advance progress in our own lives. Without it, we can be posed with toxic mental-health risks. Social media can and has helped us connect. Yet, one negative effect may outweigh the good as we often compare oneself to others. Studies have found correlations between heavy social media use with decreased self-esteem and body image shaming.

Often, when I’d view someone’s “perfect” life, or beautiful picture, I got jealous, felt depressed; I began to complain all the time. Why wasn’t my life as wonderful? Why couldn’t I go on vacation? Why didn’t my family look like that? Why wasn’t my hair long? These blemishes picked the worst moments to pop up – nobody else had this issue.

Another dangerous part of social media isn’t just the fear of missing out – it’s the popularity contest. How many clicks am I getting – “love” versus “like”? Are there comments? My sister would get upset with me if I didn’t write something about her pictures.

Let It Go

The whole thing was getting more stressful than it was worth. So for Lent, I decided to take time off of social media. At first, it was difficult, seriously difficult; my fingers itched to click on the apps on my phone. I almost did a few times, not thinking. Fear of missing out settled in pretty fast. Too many days were passing and I didn’t know what people were doing. The gossip train was going on around me, and I wasn’t in-the-know.

By the twentieth day, I noticed I was less interested. Come the fortieth day, I saw a huge improvement in my attitude and mood. I was no longer complaining. Missing out wasn’t a fear; I was actually more at ease. When I took a step back, and actually thought about it, I realized what people are uploading is vastly different than what’s going on in real life. I suddenly noticed the filters – people looked fake. The perfect couples were now split up. Those great vacations were traveled alone. Teens were home by themselves while parents worked overtime for days on end.

Make Real Friends

Social media platforms also include design elements that trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This contributes to addictive behaviors and compulsion. When we post a picture … and persistently check to see how many “likes” or “loves” we get, what are we hoping for? A complete stranger to all of sudden love us? People to say we’re beautiful or handsome? Are we hoping to suddenly be popular? And when nobody clicks on a status, or comments, does that mean nobody likes us? Who are these social media friends to say anything about me?

About our social media friends – In Chris Stefanick’s book, “Living Joy,” he devotes a chapter to the relationship between friends and social media and offers some perspective about why we’re so inclined to rely on it. We’re not putting in the hard time and effort it takes to grow in our relationships, he says. “The human mind is hardwired to choose comfort with the least effort possible and to avoid pain. Friends don’t fit that paradigm. They can take a lot of effort.” However, online “friends” are low-effort and low-risk.

Give God a Chance

If we are God loving and living our lives for Him, how can He compete with social media if we continue to make it an idol in our lives? We need to understand how much God love us instead of relying on clicks and comments from our so-called friends on social media. Our self-worth should not come from someone’s perception of us. In God’s eyes, we are beautiful and perfect and skilled. He created us, and He doesn’t make mistakes. God wants to instill this truth into us. When we complain about how we look, we are dissing God’s work. Do we like it when someone puts down something we’ve done?

The fear and anxiety are real. I’m sure the maker of Snapchat or Instagram wasn’t thinking evil when they built the apps. But Satan uses the tools, that were made for fun, to push our buttons. Satan knows how to get to us – make us feel unworthy … unneeded … unpopular.

What humans think of us does not overwrite what God thinks of us. The Bible says, “How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?” NIV John 5:44. And if you haven’t experienced Christ, these are simply some thoughts to get you thinking about something new, a better path.

Do not seek praise from humans. Your Heavenly Father loves everything about you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Believe me, you are loved more than you’ll ever know. It’s hard to understand how God can love us, when we don’t love ourselves. Step into a new day – love yourself because God says you are awesome!

Because I’m Good Enough and Smart Enough

Get several sticky notes and write notes on them:

“I am awesome/beautiful/handsome/wonderful/perfect (change the word on each one). I am loved by the Heavenly Father. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He’s got my back. Thank you, God!”

Place them throughout your house, your room, bathroom, wherever you frequent the most. And read them out loud every time you see them.

Let us know how you are doing!

Laurie lives in Licking County.