“New year, new me.” Sound familiar? It’s flooded every Instagram post for the past month. Every January 1st, millions of people decide it’s time to make a change — whether it’s eating healthier, working out, or cutting back on screen time. But here’s the catch: 80% of these resolutions have been abandoned already. That means out of every 100 people, only 8 have actually stuck to their goals. Crazy, right?

It’s not about having better gym equipment or more free time. It’s about exercising discipline and commitment. The 8% succeed because they rely on the CARDINAL VIRTUES. The first is prudence, the ability to discern the good and choose the right means to achieve it. In simpler terms, prudence is the ability to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way. The second virtue is justice, giving others what they are due. The third virtue is fortitude, the courage to face difficulties and persevere in the pursuit of good. The final virtue is temperance, moderation in what we do or buy or consume.

In my opinion, those who finish what they start, exercise the virtues of fortitude and temperance. Exercising fortitude looks like waking up and getting out of bed when your alarm clock goes off even though you’re exhausted. It looks like going to the gym even though your legs are so sore from the day before. Fortitude is the ability to continue to do what you set out to do in the first place.

Temperance is the ability to set oneself up for success. Temperance exercises the ability to say no to some things so that later on you can say yes to better things. Temperance is closing your laptop at 11 p.m. so that you can be fully rested for the day ahead. Temperance is not having that second serving of ice cream. But, temperance isn’t just about saying no. It can also look like, I can buy that item at the store because I had saved enough this month. Temperance is staying within your budget so that when your friend asks you to go out to dinner, you can afford it because you didn’t spend extra money on something that you didn’t really need.

In summary, exercising virtue isn’t going to make your life bland and boring, but rather, it gives you guidelines to follow so that you can live your life and live it to the fullest. So how do we make it to the end of the year so that we’re in the top 8%? We start small. Let’s say that our goal is to “get in shape.” What does that even mean? What kind of shape are we talking about? Olympic athlete, all-state champion? You get the point.

Step #1 is to make your goals more specific. “I want to live a healthier life.” That’s a great alternative. In addition, research has shown that when you have a theme for the year, it’s easier to obtain because the small things you do can fall under that theme. So let’s say this year’s theme is health.

Step #2 is to make it timely. If you’re going to focus on running, for example, your goal might be, “I want to be able to run a mile without stopping by springtime.” Then as you achieve each goal, you can bump up the next goal. Maybe your goal is to stop eating out. “I will let myself eat out once a week for a month.” Next month, you can change it to eating out once every other week. Soon, you’ll find yourself inching closer and closer to your goal.

Step #3 is to tie this goal to an action. “I am going to start running at my local gym.” Or, “I’m going to go for a run and listen to that new podcast I’ve been waiting to listen to.” There’s a win-win in that; you run and you get to listen to your podcast.

Step #4 is to make your goal attainable. While some people can start habits by going all in, more often than not, you need to ease your way into things. If you don’t work out, don’t expect to work out for an hour every day. Make it manageable. “I’m going to work out 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes.” Start slow and know your limits. Start slow and set realistic expectations. Knowing your limits doesn’t make you weak — it makes you smart.

Feel like you got a good idea? Go ahead and write yours down. The truth is that it’s never too late to start and today is the best day to begin. Don’t think in terms of tomorrow when it comes to building a new habit. Start thinking in terms of Day #1. But the truth is, you’re going to mess up. You’ll miss a day of working out or whatever your plan is. Realize that you’re not perfect and that’s okay. But don’t let that get you down. Think about it this way: if you forgot to brush your teeth one day, would you wake up the next and say, “Well I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday, that stinks. I guess I won’t brush them today or ever again.” No! That’s one, gross, and two, so silly.

Let this year be new for you, with a new mindset, and a new outlook on life. Life is going to be a challenge so make it a game. Make it fun and don’t give up. You’ll see the change happen over time!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/02/11/this-is-the-month-when-new-years-resolutions-fail-heres-how-to-save-them/

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And yet, just as we observed in a piece last year about being glued to mobile devices and social media addiction, for too many people, that warmth of the sun is replaced by the glow of a screen. For some of us (including adults), it’s social media; others, it’s short-attention-span videos (like TikTok), and for those with maybe too much attention span, it’s binge-watching TV shows through Netflix or some other platform (on screens of all sizes).

You know, this problem goes back decades, even when I was a kid. I remember my father claimed how he HATED SITCOMS. Just the sound of the phony laugh-tracks and the actors shouting became like nails on a chalkboard. Why? Because each time he arrived home from work at night, many of his kids were camped in front of the TV, endlessly watching reruns of … whatever (Unfortunately, my mother had passed and was not around to turn the TV off, which she would have done).

If we were digesting something that was better for us, he may not have been so upset, or felt like our TV obsession was his failure. Back then, the old adage “Garbage in, garbage out,” was as true as it is today. And the people producing those programs had no more interest in our physical, psychological or spiritual well-being than most of those creating mainstream entertainment today.

What does “Garbage In, Garbage Out,” mean? Feel free to research it yourself. But it is universally summed up by this definition: in any system (mechanical or biological), the quality of output is determined by the quality of the input.

And where do we find garbage? In the dumpster. Is that where you’re eating?

Before you answer, consider it deeply and honestly. Yes, it’s a jarring question. It’s meant to be. Here’s another question: How is this “diet” making you feel? Do you feel joyful? Does it inspire you to seek purpose in the life you have ahead of you, do great things, and make the world a better place for your loved ones and neighbors?

Or do you just stay put … and wait for the next episode to start?

In the banquet of life, too many of us find ourselves rummaging through scraps, addicted to the immediate gratification and digital distractions, rather than pursuing the stuff of real, palpable, life-changing greatness.

The Worst — and Most Successful — Sales Pitch in History

Consider what might just be the worst, and ironically the most successful sales pitch in history: “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me” (paraphrase of Luke 9:23). These words from Jesus Christ turn the world’s logic on its head. Instead of promising comfort, ease, or endless entertainment, He offers a path marked by denial, sacrifice, and service. It’s a call to Greatness that doesn’t align with a world of binge-watching and endless scrolling.

Why? Because Jesus challenges us to look beyond the immediate gratification of our desires, and even this life. He asks us to consider not what makes us temporarily comfortable, but what makes us eternally fulfilled. This path — demanding as it may seem — promises a joy that the fleeting pleasures of the world can never match.

The Dumpster Diet: Mobile Devices and Binge-Watching

For generations now, young people have been on some form of a “dumpster diet.” However, in the past twenty years, the toxicity of it has increased a thousand-fold. Trust me: sit down and watch just one episode of a show called Three’s Company, which was controversial when it came out, and compare it to anything you can pull up on your mobile device today, or is aired on any network 24 hours a day. It has gotten that bad.

Obsessed with mobile devices and binge-watching, there’s a consistent gravitation towards content that fills your mind with filth, and empties your soul (Don’t believe me? It’s the hunger you feel it each time the show ends, and you put the device down). The irony is palpable: in an age of unparalleled connectivity, many feel more LONELY than ever. In the endless pursuit of comfort, there’s a gnawing sense of misery, a hunger for something more.

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”
—Benedict XVI

I’m not trying to guilt you over screen time. I’m as guilty at times as everyone else. It’s about recognizing that, in the words of Pope Benedict XVI, “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” When we settle for the comfort of the dumpster (did I really just say that?), we miss out on the feast we were made to enjoy.

The Feast of Greatness

Greatness, in this context, isn’t about achieving fame or accumulating wealth. It’s about living a life of God-given, purpose, integrity, and service. It’s about cultivating virtues like courage, patience, and generosity. It’s about using your talents and time in service to others and in pursuit of a cause greater than oneself.

It’s a purpose to get up in the morning.

Greatness involves stepping away from the screen to engage with the real world — to connect deeply with others, to experience the beauty of nature, to contribute to your community, and to embrace the challenges and opportunities that life presents.

Making the Switch: From Dumpster to Banquet

Making the switch from the dumpster to the banquet involves a conscious choice. It requires recognizing the emptiness of what the world calls “living” and embracing the fullness of life offered through a path of self-denial, sacrifice, and service.

• Deny Yourself: This means, quite simply, setting aside selfish desires and instant gratifications for something greater. It’s about discipline, about choosing to engage in activities that enrich rather than deplete you.
• Take Up Your Cross: Every great endeavor involves challenge and sacrifice. Whether it’s pursuing an education, excelling in a sport, or mastering an art, the path to achievement is marked by hard work and perseverance. For greatness, a price must be paid.
• Follow Me: For us Christians, following Christ is the ultimate call to greatness. It’s a journey that transforms every aspect of life, infusing it with purpose, joy, and love. He also challenges us to seek not the pursuits of our own will (wants and desires), but that of the Will of our Heavenly Father. It is also a challenge that most of us struggle with our entire lives.

Are You Ready to Leave the Dumpster Behind?

The next time you dive into your screen to binge on your favorite Netflix series, ask yourself this single question, inwardly and honestly: Do the people who created this program CARE about ME?

To every young person fixated on a screen, consider this question, and the invitation here. An invitation to a life of greater purpose, deeper joy, and true fulfillment. A life where you’re not merely consuming content but creating value for others, as well as yourself. This is a life not measured by fake friends and likes, but by the love you give and the difference you make.

Are you ready to leave the dumpster behind and step up to the banquet of greatness you were made for?

It’s your move.

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They weren’t disappointed with New York City, which had a gritty, dark allure they both found intoxicating. It was quite a departure from the small, conservative Ohio town they lived in.

The husband spent considerable time figuring where they’d stay, which had to be a spot in the thick of it all. No Holiday Inn would do. They knew the time had come to start a family and that the trip might be the last they’d have alone for quite a while, so they were determined to find a hotel with a flavor all its own, just to add to the experience.

The Gershwin, near the Flatiron Building, provided the edgy ambience they sought. Their cab driver hastily made a right turn onto 27th Avenue that Friday morning, and before they were even able to orient themselves, the taxi came to a halt before the hotel’s blood-red façade.

The couple had no knowledge of art or whose work was showcased all over the lobby walls, only that the pieces were avant-garde in style, which made the hotel seem that much more hip to them.

They stayed on the fifth of the six floors in a room at the front of the hotel, toward the street. There was only one window in the room, which faced an apartment building to the left of the hotel.

Their weekend flew by. The couple was successful in making it to all of spots on their must-see list. And they devoured as much food and drink as was in their budget to do.

The husband wasn’t dreaming on the morning of their flight home. The low whimpers he thought he heard were real, and they came from the hotel’s hallway. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 5:13 a.m., and there wasn’t even a hint yet of daylight.

He lied there listening. The wife didn’t stir. He heard the sounds again. They were soft crying sounds, a man’s voice, but no words, and the sounds seemed like they were coming from right outside their door, perhaps from across the hall.

He felt his wife’s body twitch, and then lie still, as if she was trying to focus on whether she really did hear a sound.

The husband gently touched her shoulder. “Hey,” he whispered. “Someone’s out there. Listen.”

There was a thump in the hall, though it was difficult to tell what caused it, then the crying sounds grew louder, almost mournful. The husband and wife didn’t move in their bed; they only listened.

The man seemed to be moving down the hallway, away from their door, feet stomping, still crying, and the sounds seemed to be getting more desperate.

Suddenly, the man began to shriek, which were incoherent attempts to yell out someone’s name, and the piercing quality of the sounds greatly disturbed the couple.

There was silence for a brief moment, and then the stomping feet sounds and cries grew closer. The man was running down the hallway again in the direction of their room.

The husband and wife were frozen in fear and didn’t dare move, worrying that their rustling would be heard and only agitate the man further.

Suddenly, there was a violent bang against their door, as if a body was thrown against it. Then, as quickly as the cries intensified, they softened to the low whimpers that woke them. And then nothing. It was silent.

The couple held on tightly to each other, their imaginations running wild wondering what was wrong with the man. A lover’s quarrel? Sickness? They reasoned it must be bad drugs to make a person behave in such a way.

Minutes later, they heard the man’s cries again, only they had turned into blood-curdling screams, and they were coming from the street.

By this time, a light rain had started to fall and there was faint, gray light coming in through the window curtains.

In the husband’s mind he could see the man standing in the street – right in the middle of it – alone, arms outstretched, wailing like a wild animal up to the sky. There was no other sound.

Where was the city, he wondered, and why wasn’t anyone helping or stopping the man? There were millions of people in such a place, yet all he could hear was the man’s screams and the beating of their own hearts.

Finally, the man was silent, and the husband and wife drifted back to sleep.

The post Morning in NYC appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

I moved to San Francisco at age 21 in the mid ’90s thinking I was going to take the world by storm – that I was going to be the Pat Benatar of the grunge movement. With just a few boxes and a few hundred dollars, I was easily and quickly able to finagle housing and a job. I quickly learned that one job would not be enough, though. I didn’t know it at the time, but one choice I made back then would squash my dreams of rockstardom: I could either live comfortably in my own studio in the posh neighborhood of the Marina; I lived on famous Lombard Street, known as the “crookedest street in the world.” That meant I would have to work multiple jobs in order to maintain that lifestyle. Or, I could choose to live the life of a beggar, in squalor, camping out on someone’s living room floor in Haight Ashbury while I pursued my singing aspirations. I chose to have my own place.

Thirty years later, I don’t have too many regrets; if I truly wanted to become a singer, I would have had the drive to pursue it. The daydreams were really just that – and a means of escapism. I think about that impressionable time in my life, though, in how that decision completely altered the trajectory of my life. Instead of confronting fear and the unknown, I chose the path of least resistance. There would always be time to pursue singing later.

But there wasn’t.

I wasn’t clear and firm in the path I wanted to take in life. The sooner you’re able to figure this out in your youth, the better. People live their entire lives trying to figure out what they’re passionate about, dabbling aimlessly in all sorts of endeavors trying to find something that sticks. I’ve done this, too.

College, marriage, and children came – beautiful things, and surely God’s will for me. It’s only in recent years that I’ve been able to narrow down my loves and toss aside meaningless pursuits. Whenever I have conversations with other people about finding purpose and passion, I will often ask this: If you had all the time in the world, what’s one thing that you would do for free?

As I reflect on my journey, I realize that the key to finding passion lies in focus. It’s about honing in on what truly drives you, what sets your soul on fire, and relentlessly pursuing it. My own experience serves as a testament to this truth.

In San Francisco, as reality set in, I found myself at a crossroads. I had to make a choice between comfort and pursuing my passion wholeheartedly. Opting for the former, I settled into a life that veered away from my musical aspirations. Having a lack of focus hindered this.

Daydreams can only take you so far; it’s the decisive action and unwavering dedication that truly propel you forward.

In choosing this path of least resistance, I delayed the realization of my true desires.

But it’s never too late to course-correct. Over the years, I’ve come to understand the importance of clarity and determination in chasing one’s passions. It’s about stripping away the extraneous pursuits and zeroing in on what truly matters.

For me, the turning point has come with introspection. I began asking myself the tough questions, probing deep into my heart to unearth my true calling. And slowly but surely, clarity has been emerging. I’ve discovered what I would do without hesitation, anytime.

It’s a great question to ask yourself in search of your passion:

What ignites your soul? What would you do tirelessly, even if there were no external rewards? It’s in answering these questions that we find our true way.

So, to the dreamers and seekers out there, I urge you to embrace focus. Be unwavering in your pursuit of passion, for it is through focus that we unlock the boundless potential within ourselves. And remember, it’s never too late to chase your dreams – but the sooner you start, the brighter the journey ahead.

The post Unlocking Your Passion appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Memories are so crazy. Sometimes they come in waves; sometimes they are just little blips in the day. Sometimes it’s hard to know what is a memory, what is made up by our minds, and what are the accounts of others. It seems young to be having memories from 2-1/2 years old, yet here we are.

“Sit here in your rocking chair while I mow the grass.”

The sound I heard then, what was that? The pain, what was that? It sounded like a gunshot. It felt like a bullet had hit my eye.

“Oh my god, oh my god, did a rock fly out of the lawn mower?”

The pain. The lights. The ambulance ride. Holding onto my dad’s finger. My mom’s tears. Surgery.

It’s fine. No pain now. Parents. Hugs. Ice cream. But why are they still crying?

“The rock was 1-1/2 inches from her brain. It didn’t hit the brain but we did have to take her eye. We are going to give her an artificial eye. We will teach you how to clean it and it will look as normal as we can make it.”

Different. There is going to be something different here. Different is not good.

Things are good at home. But then there is school … no one is there to protect at school. Different is not good here.

“Hey big eye.”

“Look, there’s big eye.”

Ugh. Why can’t they come up with something more original?

“Got big plans this weekend, big eye? Like anyone would invite you to their party. Ha ha. Going to go get drunk with your boyfriend tonight? Oh, wait, you don’t have a boyfriend. Ha ha.”

Just ignore them. Pretend they are not even there and they will go away. Just get your books from your locker. This place is so stupid. I don’t want to go to class. Ugh, this sucks.

Slide into the back of the room. Maybe no one will see me. Be invisible and they won’t notice you’re different. Ah, a seat in the back. Ah, the bell. I can rest.

“Boys, you need to quiet down over there. The bell rang and it’s time to get started.”

“Boys, I’m going to need to split you up. You, come here and sit in between these two. We need to break them up.”

What?! What?! NOOO!!!!! No, no, no. Don’t you realize what you’re doing teacher?

“Oh, cool, it’s big eye. What’s up? Can you take your eye out? What happened? Why is your eye fake? Why are you such an ugly dork?”

Why would the teacher put me right in the middle of hell? What am I doing wrong? Why does everyone hate me? Why am I so ugly? Why does my life suck?

“Who did they pick for homecoming court? Let’s nominate big eye. Ha ha.”

“You should try out for cheerleading, big eye.”

Oh, my gosh, that is the quarterback of the football team. He’s so nice to me. Maybe he’s serious?! I love to dance. Maybe I will. Maybe people would like me if I was a cheerleader. I’m really not that bad.

“Oh my gosh guys, I’m trying to get big eye to try out for the cheerleading squad. Wouldn’t that be hilarious.”

I hate myself so much. Why would I even think I could do something like that or that someone actually liked me.

The bell … Brrrrrriiiiinnnng.

Thank God.

I can’t wait to lie down. I’m so tired. I’m just so tired.

I break through the sanctuary of home, crashing to my bedroom floor.

I’m so tired of being here. What if I ended my life and I could watch all their faces in despair over what they made me do. I can’t bear this life one more day. There is no other way.

I wish there was another option.

I love my family and I hope to get out of this hell one day.

What if I try one more thing? What is the opposite of this dark hell? A heaven with light. Hell = the devil. Light = God. What if I look to the light?

I drop to my knees in prayer for the first time.

“God, please help me.”

My mind is being transformed. All the darkness is being replaced by light. Goodness. I am so lucky to be alive.

God stopped the rock from hitting my brain; instead he cushioned its blow.

It’s a small price to pay to have a big, artificial eye. I am so blessed. I have life.

God: “One day, you will speak in front of hundreds, and you will tell them of my grace and they will come to me. One day, all of your pain will be used to help others.”

I look out over the microphone in the gym where I went to school. It’s so surreal. I talk about the horror I went through in these halls. My redemption comes by helping others with my story – from darkness to light, and I had everything I needed inside me the whole time.

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