Beautiful beans. I love them, and in fact, they’re my biggest protein source. Telling people this usually elicits a chuckle and response about their inability to handle the end-result after eating them. However, the fiber in beans can actually slow things down in that area – No. 2-wise – not the opposite. It took me a long time to figure this out.

Fiber is simply plant material. Unlike carbohydrates, it has no calories or food energy in it. Instead of being broken down and absorbed into the bloodstream, fiber simply passes through the entire digestive tract, acting like a broom by “sweeping” out crap. Sometimes it’s counterproductive, though, if we consume too much. We think, well, it’s fiber and it’s healthy, so my bowel movements should be regular, right? Not so. The type of fiber you’re eating makes all the difference in the world by regulating how quickly you’ll go.

Very roughly, people need about 25-30 grams of fiber a day, though most only get about 15. On a personal note, I think I take in about twice the daily amount, due to my love of vegetables, and it’s wreaked havoc on my digestive system. I think I’ve figured out a perfect diet solution – I just won’t eat at all. Kidding, but it is funny when you think you’re doing good things for your body, you could actually be doing more harm.

SOLUBLE fibers – Slows down No. 2s

This type of fiber attracts water and forms a gel, which slows down digestion. It delays the emptying of your stomach and keeps you feel full longer. It bulks and expands while it sits in your intestinal tract for awhile. It slows down the absorption of sugar and fat in the blood, helping regulate blood sugar levels. It also binds and removes cholesterol from your blood stream.

Sources of SOLUBLE fiber:

• Beans
• Oatmeal, oat bran
• Fruits like: apples, plums, oranges, bananas and blackberries
• Veggies like: carrots, squash, beets, potatoes, sweet potatoes – Think “starchy”

INSOLUBLE fibers – Speeds up No. 2s 

This type of fiber has a laxative effect because it doesn’t dissolve in water, so it passes through the gastrointestinal tract quickly without breaking down, and speeds up the passage of food and waste through your gut. If insoluble fiber gives you digestion problems, you can: Remove peels from your veggies; dice, chop or mash to make them easier to break down; eat them well-cooked, by either steaming, boiling or braising.

Sources of INSOLUBLE fiber:

• Whole grains
• Fruits like: Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, pears
• Veggies like: leafy greens, corn, green beans, celery, onion, broccoli, cabbage

All fibers have a soluble/insoluble ratio. Because of this, doctors and nutritionists are doing away with those terms. If you strive to consume a variety of high-fiber foods every day, you should get enough of each to cover your bases. If you’re trying to incorporate more fiber into your diet, take it slowly to avoid gastrointestinal distress.

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“New year, new me.” Sound familiar? It’s flooded every Instagram post for the past month. Every January 1st, millions of people decide it’s time to make a change — whether it’s eating healthier, working out, or cutting back on screen time. But here’s the catch: 80% of these resolutions have been abandoned already. That means out of every 100 people, only 8 have actually stuck to their goals. Crazy, right?

It’s not about having better gym equipment or more free time. It’s about exercising discipline and commitment. The 8% succeed because they rely on the CARDINAL VIRTUES. The first is prudence, the ability to discern the good and choose the right means to achieve it. In simpler terms, prudence is the ability to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way. The second virtue is justice, giving others what they are due. The third virtue is fortitude, the courage to face difficulties and persevere in the pursuit of good. The final virtue is temperance, moderation in what we do or buy or consume.

In my opinion, those who finish what they start, exercise the virtues of fortitude and temperance. Exercising fortitude looks like waking up and getting out of bed when your alarm clock goes off even though you’re exhausted. It looks like going to the gym even though your legs are so sore from the day before. Fortitude is the ability to continue to do what you set out to do in the first place.

Temperance is the ability to set oneself up for success. Temperance exercises the ability to say no to some things so that later on you can say yes to better things. Temperance is closing your laptop at 11 p.m. so that you can be fully rested for the day ahead. Temperance is not having that second serving of ice cream. But, temperance isn’t just about saying no. It can also look like, I can buy that item at the store because I had saved enough this month. Temperance is staying within your budget so that when your friend asks you to go out to dinner, you can afford it because you didn’t spend extra money on something that you didn’t really need.

In summary, exercising virtue isn’t going to make your life bland and boring, but rather, it gives you guidelines to follow so that you can live your life and live it to the fullest. So how do we make it to the end of the year so that we’re in the top 8%? We start small. Let’s say that our goal is to “get in shape.” What does that even mean? What kind of shape are we talking about? Olympic athlete, all-state champion? You get the point.

Step #1 is to make your goals more specific. “I want to live a healthier life.” That’s a great alternative. In addition, research has shown that when you have a theme for the year, it’s easier to obtain because the small things you do can fall under that theme. So let’s say this year’s theme is health.

Step #2 is to make it timely. If you’re going to focus on running, for example, your goal might be, “I want to be able to run a mile without stopping by springtime.” Then as you achieve each goal, you can bump up the next goal. Maybe your goal is to stop eating out. “I will let myself eat out once a week for a month.” Next month, you can change it to eating out once every other week. Soon, you’ll find yourself inching closer and closer to your goal.

Step #3 is to tie this goal to an action. “I am going to start running at my local gym.” Or, “I’m going to go for a run and listen to that new podcast I’ve been waiting to listen to.” There’s a win-win in that; you run and you get to listen to your podcast.

Step #4 is to make your goal attainable. While some people can start habits by going all in, more often than not, you need to ease your way into things. If you don’t work out, don’t expect to work out for an hour every day. Make it manageable. “I’m going to work out 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes.” Start slow and know your limits. Start slow and set realistic expectations. Knowing your limits doesn’t make you weak — it makes you smart.

Feel like you got a good idea? Go ahead and write yours down. The truth is that it’s never too late to start and today is the best day to begin. Don’t think in terms of tomorrow when it comes to building a new habit. Start thinking in terms of Day #1. But the truth is, you’re going to mess up. You’ll miss a day of working out or whatever your plan is. Realize that you’re not perfect and that’s okay. But don’t let that get you down. Think about it this way: if you forgot to brush your teeth one day, would you wake up the next and say, “Well I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday, that stinks. I guess I won’t brush them today or ever again.” No! That’s one, gross, and two, so silly.

Let this year be new for you, with a new mindset, and a new outlook on life. Life is going to be a challenge so make it a game. Make it fun and don’t give up. You’ll see the change happen over time!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/02/11/this-is-the-month-when-new-years-resolutions-fail-heres-how-to-save-them/

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I thrive on routine – plans, schedules, calendarized events, and Post-it notes. It’s how I roll; I’m a list person. However, complacency can sometimes be the enemy of growth. Routine can be helpful if managed, but left unchecked, can pull us down the rabbit hole of monotony for a long time.

Christmastime helps to break those routine cycles. At least for me, starting with Thanksgiving, life seems to shift into overdrive and feels like a whirlwind until January 2. Family – food – buying presents … family – food – opening presents – family – midnight – recovery. It can be a grind at times. The key to getting through it all and recovering after is introspection. That is to say, time to think.

Unfortunately, for most men, we’re so bent on action and task completion, we seldom leave time for ourselves. That ends this year.

Sometimes the holidays can bring out the best in us, and sometimes the worst. In either scenario, it can be hard to confront those things in each of us that we don’t want to admit are true, or make up our character, when we wish they didn’t. We can see what others have that we don’t; we can see what others don’t have and are unfairly without; we can get bogged down by the desire for justification when no obvious one exists.

Ultimately without fail, what the holiday season provides is an annual time of reflection. I know, I know: everyone says it, but within each stereotype is a kernel of truth. How much time do you take to think about you? Are you happy with you? Are you where you want to be? Are you the man you want to be; the friend you want to be; the student, the brother, the son, the husband you want to be? If yes, that’s great! I’m sure it took some time to get there. Life takes work. If you answered “No” to any one of these questions, it’s not too late to take the time to reflect and, if desired, enact change.

Men: Seriously, there’s still time. If you’re reading this, the buzzer has not yet been beaten, no one has walked off and won (I only have sports references, apparently) and the fat lady is still in the green room, warming up.

It is commonly believed that it takes about three weeks – 21 days – to create a habit. Of course, depending on the complexity, frequency, and state of mind of the habit former, that timeline is flexible. Here’s an example: a new nightly routine could take a few weeks, while a new exercise regimen could take a few months. Suffice it to say, for most tasks and most taskmasters, habit-forming takes time and repetition, but the first step is always the same: decisiveness. Make the decision that change is needed, warranted, and valid.

For me, it can be making time with family or time by myself to do things I enjoy. I love to read; haven’t cracked a book since March. I love to write, but this is the first thing I’ve written in months. I enjoy running, but I’ve worn my running shoes for family events only this year. I enjoy cycling and recently had to fill up the bike tires solely because I didn’t want to ruin the tires, not because I was preparing for a ride. My wife and I really enjoy playing Xbox, but we got rid our last system because we said we didn’t have the time. The family hasn’t been hiking in a year. It gets depressing, but life can come fast and hard without care or compassion. Time flies – it truly does. So, strap on your wings; we’ve got some gliding to do.

STEP ONE: Schedule time to get your house in order. I’ve taken care of the “have-to” things before they’ve truly become emergencies or missed deadlines/obligations.

STEP TWO: I’ve said no to those requests and asks that would have taken up time I needed for me or other important things (see above). I was not able to attend that particular after-hours meeting; I wouldn’t commit to delivering an ask because I simply didn’t have the time. I do not recall where I heard it first, but Steve Jobs is credited as saying, “Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” That is to say, schedule your time wisely. Do you really have time to go out with friends tonight? F.O.M.O. (Fear of Missing Out) is real. I get it, but the world won’t stop turning if you miss one night with friends. Prioritization is key.

STEP THREE: Make time, hold on to it, and guard the time you set aside for that which you deem important. Eventually you will be asked to compromise, but hold true. You will not get that time back. Funnily enough, most New Year’s resolutions fail around the third week of January – right when new habits could be taking hold. The key is this: Have patience and confidence in yourself and your decision.

STEP FOUR: Be OK with setbacks. We recently wrapped up Christmas (pun intended) – the season of perpetual hope, but sometimes our best intentions don’t go as planned. Fail by February; start again in March. Fail in April; reset for a fresh start in May. Perpetuity refers to a continual existence. Perpetual hope – a continual hope – of potential change, if you want. But only if you want. Do not let the world dictate that need. Only you can. You can turn it around if you want to turn it around.

Frank Cross in Scrooged turned it around; as did Ebenezer Scrooge, the character upon which Frank is loosely based. Albeit, their realizations came in more dramatic fashion, but they were shown their needs and that they weren’t the men who they could be – who they should be for those around them. Some propose that Phil Connors in Groundhog Day took ten years to figure out his true self.

Any of the previously mentioned steps could have a mid-step added, defined as “with a companion – friend or family” because having an accountability partner is also key to success. Look up “accountability partner” and you’ll return all types of alliterative answers espousing the benefits of paired progress. Regardless, the common theme is that the more people who know your goal, the more likely you are to succeed. It takes a village. In some cases, change can be affected on an individual basis, but in most cases, it takes partnership in some aspect: a friend helping a friend, wife helping a husband, girlfriend helping a boyfriend. We’re all in this together, so it benefits everyone if one of us succeeds in a positive way.

At the end of the day, if you’re doing what you can with what you have in a positive way for you and those around you, then you are enough. The holiday season can be a time of reflection for change, but should also be a time of reflection for support. The world has a way of telling us that more is better. More food, more clothes, bigger cars, bigger houses, more presents, more TV, more, more, more.

Hedonic adaptation refers to a psychological “desensitivity” where we eventually return to a baseline level of happiness after new stimulus is introduced. Meaning, the more we have only temporarily gives us that dopamine burst in the reward centers of the brain.

We all have a baseline happiness level we should strive to maintain. Getting more and more only feeds into the need for more and more, never being satiated with what we have. Sometimes less is more; sometimes enough is enough. But you: You are always enough as you are. Do you feel like you are? Because you are. I’m telling you: You. Are. Enough.

As men, we are looked at stereotypically in a variety of ways, but for a lot of us, we don’t fit that construct. We are us – not them. We are who we are, not who we are told to be. Men: it’s OK to be insecure, and it’s OK to be confident; it’s OK to try, and it’s OK to fail; it’s OK not to be a leader, and it’s OK to lead; it’s OK not to want to go to college, and it’s OK to go to University; it’s OK to be you. Just be secure in what that means.

Change is possible; perpetual hope is a theme of the season. But perpetual confidence is knowing that what you bring to the table is worthy, as well. The holidays aren’t the only time for reflection, and realizing this is beneficial, but for those on the fence or looking for a place to start, the timing is perfect. Use this season to review you; decide who you are, what makes you happy and carpe diem – seize the day. There’s no better time than today.

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SYMMETRY IS BEAUTY

I’ve often read that physical beauty lies in bodily and facial symmetry. Evolutionary theorists explain that symmetric faces are a greater sign of fitness and superior genetics, a characteristic evolved to help individuals choose the healthiest mate. Any deviation from symmetry – asymmetry – often points to unattractiveness, perhaps someone unfit or diseased, leading us not to want to mix with that particular partner. This is what “they” say anyway.

WHY ARE SOME OF US ASYMMETRIC?

While many scientists claim that these symmetries are a sure sign of biological fitness, it is possible that symmetry, or lack thereof, is not due to genetics, but the amount of exposure to stressors during bodily development. It can only be one or the other that is responsible for our funky body sides. Sometimes we’re born with oddball parts, like when one of our limbs is longer than the other; sometimes we build them on our own, as we see in athletes with differences in muscular makeup; and some are brought on by environmental factors from an early age, like nutrition, pollution or cigarette smoke. Still though, one has to wonder if these asymmetries do in fact, influence our overall fitness. Would we doomed to not attract a mate? And, because I have one breast that’s fattier than the other, does that mean it’s more prone to breast cancer? Or, if my leg is shorter than the other, will I have joint problems in my lifetime?

NEW-AGE IDEAS

There are even new-age explanations on body symmetries. One interesting one I found explains it this way: the left side of the body is the feminine side and represents the mother. The right is regarded as the masculine side, representing the father. When we continually have problems with one particular side of the body, it can mean there are issues with the parent – represented on that particular side – which have not been settled.

BRAIN HEMISPHERES

How do brain hemispheres factor into bodily symmetries? They don’t really; they are symmetries of their own, although with asymmetrical roles, working as “duel-core” processors. They have no control over bodily aesthetics, only functions. It’s difficult to read about body symmetries, however, and not have this topic included alongside.

DO SLEEP POSITIONS FACTOR IN?

Back to environmental factors affecting symmetry, I’ve wondered whether my sleeping patterns have an effect on this. It is known that the position you sleep in affects your health: lying on your back is the worse for sleep apnea, sleeping on the left eases heartburn and acid reflux, etc. There are many pros and cons for all positions. I believe that our bodies behave in certain ways – evolutionary protective strategies – to protect us from danger. I often worry about heart disease since it runs in my family. It has been found that sleeping on the right side – which I always do – helps with heart function. Sleeping on the left is related to heart enlargement and can contribute to dysfunction. In regard to my body’s symmetry, perhaps my right eyebrow is so much higher because of years of my face being smashed in my pillow on that size. Who knows;)

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I once lost 30 pounds over the course of about 3 months when I adopted a vegan diet. Those days are gone for now, but even more so than cutting out all animal products, I eliminated ALL white stuff – pasta, breads, rice – and I feel this more than anything contributed to that slim-down.

Neanderthals never ate grains. It wasn’t until about 10,000 years ago that Middle-Easterners learned how to make wheat digestible by grinding and cooking it.

And yet, we’ve grown up thinking that grains are healthy for us. While this is true for some of them, many of us have been fed a steady diet of refined grains, ripped of completely all nutrients. What we’re really doing to ourselves when we eat it is loading our bodies up with sugar. Here’s why.

When grains are refined, they are altered from their natural state by stripping selective elements away. What’s left gets bleached and grinded and refined even further with the addition of additives in an effort to “enrich” it.

Carbohydrates are broken down in our bodies into glucose, which is what our bodies use for energy. Refined grains are considered simple carbohydrates, meaning that they’re made of only a couple sugar molecules that are easy to pull apart and digest. This quick digestion delivers a big sugar rush that is usually followed by a lethargic crash. Other food that falls into this category are: sodas, baked goods, candies and unfortunately … beer.

It is with great sadness I must acknowledge that when I have a beer, I’m merely drinking a liquid doughnut.

All carbohydrates break down into glucose, however, complex carbohydrates, like what is found in whole grains, beans and vegetables, have more molecules, making them slower to break down, contributing to longer-lasting energy.

When glucose is swimming around in our bloodstreams, the pancreas produces insulin, which helps direct that glucose into the cells of our organs – it’s fuel. The more glucose in your body, the more insulin the pancreas churns out. Over time, cells can’t keep up with all the insulin (Insulin Resistance). So what happens? More insulin is made to try to combat the glucose. Over time, this will eventually wear out the pancreas. These processes can lead to OBESITY, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure … you name it.

I always check labels when I’m at the grocery store, with breads and pastas in particular. Many of them are sold under the guise of being healthy when they might not be. Always look for “WHOLE” grain on the label. If it’s not there, and especially if it says “ENRICHED,” throw it back.

I’m not militant on these things. It’s tough to follow all of the food rules, and with grains especially it’s sometimes more convenient to have the refined ones. Have you ever heard of a whole-grain pizza crust? You’ll be hard-pressed to find one I’m sure. I tried experimenting with my own, without much luck … so far. I am not giving up pizza, though, so refined flour will just have to do at those times. I advocate simply being mindful of what we do to our bodies, and just make some effort in spots where we think we’ll be successful. A little is better than nothing.

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Being a little silly here. I remember as a child wondering what happens to our eyeballs when we close them. Somewhere along the way I had heard – probably from a teasing uncle or something – that our eyeballs roll back 180 degrees and face our brains. The things kids will believe and dwell upon!

It is interesting to wonder what exactly we’re seeing, though, when we close our eyes. The blackness we see is unique from the darkness we see when we simply cover our eyes with our hands. Have you ever wondered about this?

The Blackness of Closed Eyes

When you close your eyes, several factors influence the perception of darkness. Do you ever wonder what’s going on behind your eyelids? Instead of pitch-black darkness, you might notice a dim, murky blackness, maybe even some swirling patterns or tiny sparkles of light. Eyelids are relatively thin and somewhat translucent. Even when they’re closed, a small amount of ambient light can still penetrate through. This light, though dim, prevents total darkness, creating a more muted and less absolute blackness.

Your retina, the light-sensitive layer at the back of your eye, doesn’t just shut down because your eyes are closed. Photoreceptors are still buzzing with activity. Sometimes they even create their own little light show, known as phosphenes – those tiny specks or swirling patterns you might see when you close your eyes tightly. Your brain, always busy, continues to process these faint signals from the retina. So, the darkness you perceive with closed eyes is a mix of residual light and your brain’s interpretation of it, resulting in a softer, more textured darkness.

The Darkness Under a Hand-Covered Eye

Now, let’s switch it up. When you cover your eyes with your hands, the experience of darkness changes. Hands, unlike eyelids, are much more effective at blocking light. It’s like flipping off the light switch completely. This darkness feels deeper, more complete, and somehow, more absolute. With less light penetrating through, cells in the retina receive minimal stimulation. Those photoreceptors take a break, leading to less activity and fewer spontaneous light shows. The result? A uniform, rich blackness that feels more absolute.

Press your hands a bit more firmly and you might experience a different kind of light show – pressure phosphenes. These are caused by the mechanical stimulation of the retina or optic nerve and can produce flashes or patterns of light. But even with these, the darkness under your hands feels distinct from the closed-eye kind.

Just For Fun

Both experiences highlight the amazing ways our eyes and brain work together to create our perception of darkness. So next time you’re lying in bed or taking a break with your eyes closed, take a moment to appreciate the subtle differences in the darkness you see. It’s a small, fun reminder of the wonders of our eyes and the playful mysteries of our perception.

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And yet, just as we observed in a piece last year about being glued to mobile devices and social media addiction, for too many people, that warmth of the sun is replaced by the glow of a screen. For some of us (including adults), it’s social media; others, it’s short-attention-span videos (like TikTok), and for those with maybe too much attention span, it’s binge-watching TV shows through Netflix or some other platform (on screens of all sizes).

You know, this problem goes back decades, even when I was a kid. I remember my father claimed how he HATED SITCOMS. Just the sound of the phony laugh-tracks and the actors shouting became like nails on a chalkboard. Why? Because each time he arrived home from work at night, many of his kids were camped in front of the TV, endlessly watching reruns of … whatever (Unfortunately, my mother had passed and was not around to turn the TV off, which she would have done).

If we were digesting something that was better for us, he may not have been so upset, or felt like our TV obsession was his failure. Back then, the old adage “Garbage in, garbage out,” was as true as it is today. And the people producing those programs had no more interest in our physical, psychological or spiritual well-being than most of those creating mainstream entertainment today.

What does “Garbage In, Garbage Out,” mean? Feel free to research it yourself. But it is universally summed up by this definition: in any system (mechanical or biological), the quality of output is determined by the quality of the input.

And where do we find garbage? In the dumpster. Is that where you’re eating?

Before you answer, consider it deeply and honestly. Yes, it’s a jarring question. It’s meant to be. Here’s another question: How is this “diet” making you feel? Do you feel joyful? Does it inspire you to seek purpose in the life you have ahead of you, do great things, and make the world a better place for your loved ones and neighbors?

Or do you just stay put … and wait for the next episode to start?

In the banquet of life, too many of us find ourselves rummaging through scraps, addicted to the immediate gratification and digital distractions, rather than pursuing the stuff of real, palpable, life-changing greatness.

The Worst — and Most Successful — Sales Pitch in History

Consider what might just be the worst, and ironically the most successful sales pitch in history: “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me” (paraphrase of Luke 9:23). These words from Jesus Christ turn the world’s logic on its head. Instead of promising comfort, ease, or endless entertainment, He offers a path marked by denial, sacrifice, and service. It’s a call to Greatness that doesn’t align with a world of binge-watching and endless scrolling.

Why? Because Jesus challenges us to look beyond the immediate gratification of our desires, and even this life. He asks us to consider not what makes us temporarily comfortable, but what makes us eternally fulfilled. This path — demanding as it may seem — promises a joy that the fleeting pleasures of the world can never match.

The Dumpster Diet: Mobile Devices and Binge-Watching

For generations now, young people have been on some form of a “dumpster diet.” However, in the past twenty years, the toxicity of it has increased a thousand-fold. Trust me: sit down and watch just one episode of a show called Three’s Company, which was controversial when it came out, and compare it to anything you can pull up on your mobile device today, or is aired on any network 24 hours a day. It has gotten that bad.

Obsessed with mobile devices and binge-watching, there’s a consistent gravitation towards content that fills your mind with filth, and empties your soul (Don’t believe me? It’s the hunger you feel it each time the show ends, and you put the device down). The irony is palpable: in an age of unparalleled connectivity, many feel more LONELY than ever. In the endless pursuit of comfort, there’s a gnawing sense of misery, a hunger for something more.

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”
—Benedict XVI

I’m not trying to guilt you over screen time. I’m as guilty at times as everyone else. It’s about recognizing that, in the words of Pope Benedict XVI, “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” When we settle for the comfort of the dumpster (did I really just say that?), we miss out on the feast we were made to enjoy.

The Feast of Greatness

Greatness, in this context, isn’t about achieving fame or accumulating wealth. It’s about living a life of God-given, purpose, integrity, and service. It’s about cultivating virtues like courage, patience, and generosity. It’s about using your talents and time in service to others and in pursuit of a cause greater than oneself.

It’s a purpose to get up in the morning.

Greatness involves stepping away from the screen to engage with the real world — to connect deeply with others, to experience the beauty of nature, to contribute to your community, and to embrace the challenges and opportunities that life presents.

Making the Switch: From Dumpster to Banquet

Making the switch from the dumpster to the banquet involves a conscious choice. It requires recognizing the emptiness of what the world calls “living” and embracing the fullness of life offered through a path of self-denial, sacrifice, and service.

• Deny Yourself: This means, quite simply, setting aside selfish desires and instant gratifications for something greater. It’s about discipline, about choosing to engage in activities that enrich rather than deplete you.
• Take Up Your Cross: Every great endeavor involves challenge and sacrifice. Whether it’s pursuing an education, excelling in a sport, or mastering an art, the path to achievement is marked by hard work and perseverance. For greatness, a price must be paid.
• Follow Me: For us Christians, following Christ is the ultimate call to greatness. It’s a journey that transforms every aspect of life, infusing it with purpose, joy, and love. He also challenges us to seek not the pursuits of our own will (wants and desires), but that of the Will of our Heavenly Father. It is also a challenge that most of us struggle with our entire lives.

Are You Ready to Leave the Dumpster Behind?

The next time you dive into your screen to binge on your favorite Netflix series, ask yourself this single question, inwardly and honestly: Do the people who created this program CARE about ME?

To every young person fixated on a screen, consider this question, and the invitation here. An invitation to a life of greater purpose, deeper joy, and true fulfillment. A life where you’re not merely consuming content but creating value for others, as well as yourself. This is a life not measured by fake friends and likes, but by the love you give and the difference you make.

Are you ready to leave the dumpster behind and step up to the banquet of greatness you were made for?

It’s your move.

The post Are You Eating Out of the Dumpster? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

How does one deal with haters? And, are people with negative expressions toward you really haters at all, or do they simply not like you for good reason? And should we even care? It’s difficult as a youth, and for middle-aged adults even, to accept that some people will decide not to like you, no matter what you do. Navigating this can be a spiritual journey filled with opportunities for growth and resilience. Remember these truths.

People are Jealous: One of the primary reasons people may express hate is jealousy or envy. Seeing someone else succeed or possess qualities or possessions they desire can evoke negative emotions, leading to resentment. Haters may harbor feelings of insecurity about themselves, and criticizing others can be a way for them to deflect attention from their own perceived shortcomings. Putting others down might temporarily boost their own self-esteem.

Fear of Failure: Some individuals may be afraid of taking risks or pursuing their goals. Witnessing others succeed may remind them of their own unfulfilled aspirations, leading to negative feelings and criticism.

Cultural or Societal Factors: Sometimes, negative attitudes are learned or reinforced within certain social or cultural groups. Peer pressure, societal norms, or group dynamics can influence individuals to adopt a critical stance towards others.

Personal Disappointment: A person who has experienced disappointment or failure in their own life may be more prone to expressing negativity. Instead of addressing their own issues, they may project their frustrations onto others.

Mental Health Issues: Individuals struggling with mental health issues, such as low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety, may be more inclined to express negativity towards others as a way of coping with their internal struggles.

Attention Seeking: Some individuals may engage in negative behavior to attract attention to themselves. By criticizing others, they may hope to draw focus away from their own perceived inadequacies.

The perception of being hated can be influenced by one’s perspective and subjective interpretation of others’ actions and words. It is possible for individuals to misinterpret or exaggerate negative cues due to various factors, including insecurities, past experiences, or a heightened sensitivity to criticism. Take time to self reflect. Is your perception of being hated influenced by personal insecurities?

Make sure you maintain honest and open communication with others. Misunderstandings can arise, and clarifying intentions or addressing concerns directly can help dispel misconceptions. If this isn’t possible, seek feedback from trusted friends. They may provide an outside perspective on the situation and offer insights into whether the perceived negativity is real or a product of your imagination.

And always remember to have empathy. Put yourself in the shoes of others and consider their perspectives. People may have different communication styles, and what may be perceived as negativity could be a result of differing personalities or cultural differences.

We’re Called to Be Saints

Remember, the ultimate goal is for us to make it to Heaven, and in order to get there we must live our lives with compassion and love; always forgive and turn the other cheek. Here are some scriptural references to remind us of this:

Love Your Enemies: Matthew 5:44 says it the best: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This verse calls us to approach negativity with love and prayer, recognizing that our spiritual journey involves rising above hate through acts of compassion.

Think of Your Own Spiritual Growth: The Bible encourages self-reflection and humility in the face of criticism. In 1 Peter 3:9 (NIV), it states, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” This spiritual teaching urges us to turn away from retaliatory actions and embrace the path of spiritual blessings.

Practice Empathy and Forgiveness: Luke 6:27-28 (NIV) guides us spiritually: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” These words from Jesus emphasize empathy, forgiveness, and the transformative power of spiritual practices in responding to negativity.

Choose the Spiritual Path: Romans 12:20-21 (NIV) reinforces the importance of choosing the spiritual path when confronting hate: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” This spiritual teaching encourages us to respond to negativity with acts of kindness and generosity.

Maintain Spiritual Composure: Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) emphasizes the spiritual importance of communication: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Maintaining spiritual composure involves choosing words that uplift and build, even in the face of negativity.

Seek Spiritual Support: Finally, spiritual support is crucial in the face of challenges. Philippians 4:13 (NIV) reminds us, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Seeking strength through spiritual practices, prayer, and connecting with a spiritual community can provide the support needed to rise above negativity.

As hard as it can be, ignore the hatred. Look at it in the fact that maybe you’re doing something right in the world. The Bible’s words in dealing with haters provides a guideline; it involves embracing love, prayer, empathy, and forgiveness. By anchoring ourselves in spiritual principles found here, we can navigate the challenges with grace and resilience, allowing our spiritual growth to shine through in the face of negativity. Let it go!

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Or perhaps, it was a struggle this morning just to get out of bed.

But if you did, despite such a struggle, you deserve credit.

Sometimes, just showing up and being present is the best we can do. Too many of us — and this applies to all roles in our lives, and at all ages (this includes your teachers and parents too!) — have felt less worthy of a task at hand because we are not meeting our own standard of perfection for that day. We need to get over ourselves, move past that, and simply be present.

A dramatic case in point: the 2008 movie We are Marshall tells the story of Marshall University’s struggle to rebuild its football program after a plane crash tragically takes the lives of virtually everyone on the team. University leaders considered folding the program all together — to give up if you will — rather than endure more pain of what would be a formidable task.

But the school—and indeed the community—decided to move forward. Staying in the game was what was needed most of all. It wasn’t about winning. It was about playing. While the movie ends with the new football team achieving a dramatic game win, it goes on to tell you that for the next fifteen years, Marshall did indeed struggle, losing far more games than they would win.

It wasn’t about winning. It was about playing.

But that didn’t matter. What mattered is that they played. They showed up.

And according to Woody Allen, isn’t that most of what makes success? Just showing up? It calls to mind the words of C. S. Lewis in one of his books: “I am to give my readers not the best absolutely but the best I have.”

Indeed, this is all we can ever do. But we should take comfort in knowing that too often we give ourselves less credit than we are due, and that the best we have is often better than we think.

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Is It Possible to Break Away from Addictive Social Media Behaviors?

Roughly seven-in-ten Americans use social media. In fact, our time spent online is increasing, especially among teens, according to The Pew Research Center. And it’s teens, research suggests, who are more likely to exhibit addictive behaviors with it.

It Happened to Me

I was addicted to social media. Plain and simple. Whenever I had free time, I’d click on an app and wait impatiently as it uploaded. Then, I’d scroll through page after page hoping to see what? I’m not sure. Perhaps to see what people were doing. I was feeling lonely. My life was less than perfect.

One aspect of social media addiction revolves around the need for constant validation. As human beings, we seek connection with others, to advance progress in our own lives. Without it, we can be posed with toxic mental-health risks. Social media can and has helped us connect. Yet, one negative effect may outweigh the good as we often compare oneself to others. Studies have found correlations between heavy social media use with decreased self-esteem and body image shaming.

Often, when I’d view someone’s “perfect” life, or beautiful picture, I got jealous, felt depressed; I began to complain all the time. Why wasn’t my life as wonderful? Why couldn’t I go on vacation? Why didn’t my family look like that? Why wasn’t my hair long? These blemishes picked the worst moments to pop up – nobody else had this issue.

Another dangerous part of social media isn’t just the fear of missing out – it’s the popularity contest. How many clicks am I getting – “love” versus “like”? Are there comments? My sister would get upset with me if I didn’t write something about her pictures.

Let It Go

The whole thing was getting more stressful than it was worth. So for Lent, I decided to take time off of social media. At first, it was difficult, seriously difficult; my fingers itched to click on the apps on my phone. I almost did a few times, not thinking. Fear of missing out settled in pretty fast. Too many days were passing and I didn’t know what people were doing. The gossip train was going on around me, and I wasn’t in-the-know.

By the twentieth day, I noticed I was less interested. Come the fortieth day, I saw a huge improvement in my attitude and mood. I was no longer complaining. Missing out wasn’t a fear; I was actually more at ease. When I took a step back, and actually thought about it, I realized what people are uploading is vastly different than what’s going on in real life. I suddenly noticed the filters – people looked fake. The perfect couples were now split up. Those great vacations were traveled alone. Teens were home by themselves while parents worked overtime for days on end.

Make Real Friends

Social media platforms also include design elements that trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This contributes to addictive behaviors and compulsion. When we post a picture … and persistently check to see how many “likes” or “loves” we get, what are we hoping for? A complete stranger to all of sudden love us? People to say we’re beautiful or handsome? Are we hoping to suddenly be popular? And when nobody clicks on a status, or comments, does that mean nobody likes us? Who are these social media friends to say anything about me?

About our social media friends – In Chris Stefanick’s book, “Living Joy,” he devotes a chapter to the relationship between friends and social media and offers some perspective about why we’re so inclined to rely on it. We’re not putting in the hard time and effort it takes to grow in our relationships, he says. “The human mind is hardwired to choose comfort with the least effort possible and to avoid pain. Friends don’t fit that paradigm. They can take a lot of effort.” However, online “friends” are low-effort and low-risk.

Give God a Chance

If we are God loving and living our lives for Him, how can He compete with social media if we continue to make it an idol in our lives? We need to understand how much God love us instead of relying on clicks and comments from our so-called friends on social media. Our self-worth should not come from someone’s perception of us. In God’s eyes, we are beautiful and perfect and skilled. He created us, and He doesn’t make mistakes. God wants to instill this truth into us. When we complain about how we look, we are dissing God’s work. Do we like it when someone puts down something we’ve done?

The fear and anxiety are real. I’m sure the maker of Snapchat or Instagram wasn’t thinking evil when they built the apps. But Satan uses the tools, that were made for fun, to push our buttons. Satan knows how to get to us – make us feel unworthy … unneeded … unpopular.

What humans think of us does not overwrite what God thinks of us. The Bible says, “How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?” NIV John 5:44. And if you haven’t experienced Christ, these are simply some thoughts to get you thinking about something new, a better path.

Do not seek praise from humans. Your Heavenly Father loves everything about you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Believe me, you are loved more than you’ll ever know. It’s hard to understand how God can love us, when we don’t love ourselves. Step into a new day – love yourself because God says you are awesome!

Because I’m Good Enough and Smart Enough

Get several sticky notes and write notes on them:

“I am awesome/beautiful/handsome/wonderful/perfect (change the word on each one). I am loved by the Heavenly Father. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He’s got my back. Thank you, God!”

Place them throughout your house, your room, bathroom, wherever you frequent the most. And read them out loud every time you see them.

Let us know how you are doing!

Laurie lives in Licking County.

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