Let’s talk about something that has quietly become a social plague: ghosting and unfriending.

I’m speaking from experience here. Few things are more irritating than sending a message — personal or professional — and watching it vanish into the digital void. No response. No acknowledgment. Just your dignity and hope slowly evaporating. It feels rude because it is rude. And cowardly. Because it usually is that, too.

Somehow, in the digital age, we’ve managed to make disappearing from people easier than ever — no awkward conversations, no explanations, no emotional responsibility required. Just silence. Yay, technology!

Zero Empathy Is Maximum Convenience

Ghosting — dropping out of conversations without a word or never responding in the first place — has become weirdly normalized. It’s often justified as “protecting peace” or “avoiding awkwardness,” but let’s be honest: most of the time it’s about avoiding discomfort.

And avoidance has a cost.

When we ghost someone, we’re essentially saying, “Your feelings are less important than my momentary unease.” That’s not neutral behavior; it’s a choice.

In Christian tradition, we’re called to treat others with dignity and respect. Ghosting skips that step entirely. It’s not just impolite; it can cross into sinful territory when it consistently dismisses empathy and accountability.

Full disclosure: I’ve done it before. I’m not writing this from a moral high horse; it’s more from lots of self-awareness and reflection. Once you start recognizing the pattern, it’s hard to un-see it.

Professional Ghosting Even with Resumes

Ghosting has also gone corporate.

Professional ghosting is now fully institutionalized, especially in hiring. Candidates apply, interview, follow up, and then hear absolutely nothing. No rejection. No update. Just radio silence. The same thing happens with project pitches, collaborations, and professional outreach.

This isn’t just annoying; it’s disrespectful. People invest time, energy, and hope into these interactions. Ignoring that effort signals a complete lack of accountability. And yes, I could make the argument that this behavior negatively affects the economy, too, but that’s another article.

Ghosting also shows up at work in subtler ways: unanswered emails, clients who disappear mid-project, colleagues and co-workers who stop responding altogether. This creates confusion, resentment, and a culture where avoidance becomes the norm. Trust erodes. Morale drops.

I’ve experienced this not only professionally but even with church leaders. And honestly? A simple “yes” or “no” to an inquiry would suffice. Silence isn’t kindness — it’s indifference. Have some guts.

Hurt People Unfriend People

Unfriending is a little different. It’s more deliberate, often framed as “curating our social landscape.” Which sounds very calm and intentional until you realize it’s sometimes just emotional fallout with better branding.

We should ask ourselves: Are we unfriending because someone is truly harmful, or because we’re hurt and don’t know what to do with it?

Often, unfriending is less about the other person and more about unresolved feelings: anger, disappointment, jealousy, or plain exhaustion. Cutting someone off can feel empowering, but it can also be a way to avoid dealing with pain. And avoidance, again, has consequences.

When we unfriend without reflection, we lose the opportunity for conversation, growth, or reconciliation. We choose distance over dialogue and safety over maturity. Sometimes that’s necessary, but often it’s just easier.

Loneliness Spiral

In a world already struggling with isolation, habitual disconnection makes things worse. Ghosting and unfriending can create a vicious cycle: hurt leads to withdrawal, withdrawal leads to loneliness, and loneliness hardens us further.

Compassion isn’t always comfortable. It requires engagement, honesty, and sometimes difficult conversations. This doesn’t mean tolerating toxic behavior, but it does mean being intentional rather than reactive.

Before cutting someone off, consider whether a conversation could bring clarity. Not every relationship can or should be saved, but not every one needs to be quietly buried either.

Choosing Accountability Over Disappearing

At the heart of all this is accountability. Technology gives us endless ways to disengage without consequence, but that doesn’t make it right.

Before ghosting or unfriending, pause. Ask yourself this:

• Am I avoiding discomfort or protecting myself?
• Is silence actually kinder than honesty?
• What would it look like to respond with maturity instead?

Every message you ignore belongs to a real person. One who deserves at least the courtesy of acknowledgment.

We can do better. And we should.

The post Silence Isn’t Golden; It’s Just Rude! appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Ah, the classic, typical phrase: “It is what it is.” A true gem of linguistic laziness, perfect for those moments when you want to sound profound without actually saying anything of substance. Instead of offering insight or empathy, it throws up a white flag and surrenders to the chaos of life. Congratulations! You’ve just won the award for Most Unhelpful Response.

You know what takes effort? Actual engagement. Acknowledging feelings. Problem-solving. “It is what it is” is the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders while scrolling through your phone. It’s lazy and dismissive. It is NOT what it is. Fight!! Find a solution. A real conversation might involve some actual thought — imagine the horror!

And let’s not forget how it kills conversations. When you say this, you might as well be saying, “I’m done talking; let’s move on to something less meaningful.”

Next time you feel tempted to lean on this tired cliche, consider a little creativity in your response instead. How about something like, “Life’s a mess, I know.” At least it acknowledges the struggle without pretending it’s just a shrug-worthy fact of life. Remember, the next time someone hits you with “It is what it is,” you have every right to roll your eyes and demand a better conversation.

The post Masterclass in Dismissiveness: ‘It Is What It Is’ appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Like, what is going on here?

The word “like” — we all use it, youth especially. This strong influence in our conversational language seems to have developed a life of its own, and we cringe hearing it; to some it may even suggest ignorance. But the use of the term “like” is far-reaching and has become commonplace. How did we get here?

What does “like” mean in our everyday conversations?

The prepositional definition of “like” in Merriam-Webster simply means “similar to,” but the word has become much more than that. We see it overused, and we ask this: Why do we need to say something is similar to something else instead of just letting it be that something? It’s as if we’re not confident enough to make a definitive statement. We hesitate. We use “like” as a crutch. And many may not even realize they’re saying it. How is this possible?

How did it start?

Thinking about the word “like,” one might wonder about how it’s become so prevalent in everyday conversation. Maybe we think of Valley Girl culture, as sprung from the 1980s movie, as part of that transformation. A Valley Girl, according to grunge.com, is a “… stereotype defined by tween and teen girls from Southern California’s affluent San Fernando Valley. Often depicted as materialistic, air-headed, and sometimes snarky, Valley Girls had their own style of dress and makeup, complete with their own color palette of bright pastels.” Phrases from the Valley Girl era that immediately come to mind are, “Like, oh my gosh, can you believe it?” or “Like, for real.”

Used by the Beatniks

The truth is that using the word “like” goes back even further than Valley Girls; it seems to have gained traction with the Beatniks in the 1950s, who were considered an artistic subculture. According to Merriam-Webster, a Beatnik was “a person who participated in a social movement of the 1950s and early 1960s which stressed artistic self-expression and the rejection of the mores of conventional society.” They similarly used “like” as a hesitation in their speaking, as they were characters reluctant to openly judge or reject others, and tormented with uncertainly in themselves.

“Like” can be useful

Based on these examples, it seems that subcultural trends have a tendency to blend into our everyday language. This influence now has us using the term “like” in various ways: For one, it’s being used to compare similarities: “She is like a plastic bag in the wind,” or multiple times in a sentence to describe a situation: “I came home to like, a huge mess, with like, my roommates just standing there watching, and like, nobody knew what to do,” or to quote other people and their actions: “He was like, ‘I don’t even know her.’” Another way it’s used might be to fill uncomfortable spaces in a conversation: “I just don’t know … like, I just don’t know why she would do that.” Also, it can buy time for the speaker to collect their thoughts. It’s a filler while they figure out what to say next.

“Like” is not slacker language at all as we might quickly judge; it goes far back and has simply become used more regularly. It can serve multiple other linguistics functions. Its usage seems to suggest that everything is like itself, rather than itself. It demonstrates our thoughts in motion as we’re speaking. We use it to pinpoint factuality in what we’re saying: “There were like, hundreds of people standing around.” What the speaker means is this: For real, there truly were hundreds of people standing around. Why the need to use “like”? Because it simply reinforces what we’re saying. It can also soften the blow for your listener: “Like, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Your message is still being delivered, but it’s gentler.

While the term “like” may be overused, it’s simply become a part of our culture, for the educated and uneducated alike. Listen and you will hear it everywhere. Crutch or not, it evidently serves some needed purpose, otherwise it wouldn’t have made it this far, and it will be interesting to see how it evolves in the language of future generations.

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