“New year, new me.” Sound familiar? It’s flooded every Instagram post for the past month. Every January 1st, millions of people decide it’s time to make a change — whether it’s eating healthier, working out, or cutting back on screen time. But here’s the catch: 80% of these resolutions have been abandoned already. That means out of every 100 people, only 8 have actually stuck to their goals. Crazy, right?

It’s not about having better gym equipment or more free time. It’s about exercising discipline and commitment. The 8% succeed because they rely on the CARDINAL VIRTUES. The first is prudence, the ability to discern the good and choose the right means to achieve it. In simpler terms, prudence is the ability to do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way. The second virtue is justice, giving others what they are due. The third virtue is fortitude, the courage to face difficulties and persevere in the pursuit of good. The final virtue is temperance, moderation in what we do or buy or consume.

In my opinion, those who finish what they start, exercise the virtues of fortitude and temperance. Exercising fortitude looks like waking up and getting out of bed when your alarm clock goes off even though you’re exhausted. It looks like going to the gym even though your legs are so sore from the day before. Fortitude is the ability to continue to do what you set out to do in the first place.

Temperance is the ability to set oneself up for success. Temperance exercises the ability to say no to some things so that later on you can say yes to better things. Temperance is closing your laptop at 11 p.m. so that you can be fully rested for the day ahead. Temperance is not having that second serving of ice cream. But, temperance isn’t just about saying no. It can also look like, I can buy that item at the store because I had saved enough this month. Temperance is staying within your budget so that when your friend asks you to go out to dinner, you can afford it because you didn’t spend extra money on something that you didn’t really need.

In summary, exercising virtue isn’t going to make your life bland and boring, but rather, it gives you guidelines to follow so that you can live your life and live it to the fullest. So how do we make it to the end of the year so that we’re in the top 8%? We start small. Let’s say that our goal is to “get in shape.” What does that even mean? What kind of shape are we talking about? Olympic athlete, all-state champion? You get the point.

Step #1 is to make your goals more specific. “I want to live a healthier life.” That’s a great alternative. In addition, research has shown that when you have a theme for the year, it’s easier to obtain because the small things you do can fall under that theme. So let’s say this year’s theme is health.

Step #2 is to make it timely. If you’re going to focus on running, for example, your goal might be, “I want to be able to run a mile without stopping by springtime.” Then as you achieve each goal, you can bump up the next goal. Maybe your goal is to stop eating out. “I will let myself eat out once a week for a month.” Next month, you can change it to eating out once every other week. Soon, you’ll find yourself inching closer and closer to your goal.

Step #3 is to tie this goal to an action. “I am going to start running at my local gym.” Or, “I’m going to go for a run and listen to that new podcast I’ve been waiting to listen to.” There’s a win-win in that; you run and you get to listen to your podcast.

Step #4 is to make your goal attainable. While some people can start habits by going all in, more often than not, you need to ease your way into things. If you don’t work out, don’t expect to work out for an hour every day. Make it manageable. “I’m going to work out 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes.” Start slow and know your limits. Start slow and set realistic expectations. Knowing your limits doesn’t make you weak — it makes you smart.

Feel like you got a good idea? Go ahead and write yours down. The truth is that it’s never too late to start and today is the best day to begin. Don’t think in terms of tomorrow when it comes to building a new habit. Start thinking in terms of Day #1. But the truth is, you’re going to mess up. You’ll miss a day of working out or whatever your plan is. Realize that you’re not perfect and that’s okay. But don’t let that get you down. Think about it this way: if you forgot to brush your teeth one day, would you wake up the next and say, “Well I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday, that stinks. I guess I won’t brush them today or ever again.” No! That’s one, gross, and two, so silly.

Let this year be new for you, with a new mindset, and a new outlook on life. Life is going to be a challenge so make it a game. Make it fun and don’t give up. You’ll see the change happen over time!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/02/11/this-is-the-month-when-new-years-resolutions-fail-heres-how-to-save-them/

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We hear the term “prayer” used, but what does it mean? Does it mean reciting the same outdated prayers used for decades such as the Our Father, the prayer that Jesus gave us, or a Hail Mary, which dates back to the 16th century? No. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), a book about Church doctrine, says, “This mystery, (faith), then requires that the faithful believe in it, that they celebrate it, and that they live from it in a vital and personal relationship with the living and true God. This relationship is prayer.” CCC 2558. What the Catechism is saying is that prayer is the relationship with God.

Prayer is how we communicate with God the Father, Jesus, and/or Holy Spirit. This relationship is supposed to be PERSONAL. Prayer isn’t supposed to look uniform, the same way that communication between friends looks different. So, what does it mean to have a personal relationship with God? It starts just like any other relationship, with an introduction and openness. One thing to remember is that prayer isn’t us initiating a relationship with God, but rather a response to his call.

“God calls man first. Man may forget his Creator or hide far from his face; yet, the living and true God tirelessly calls each person to that mysterious encounter known as prayer. In prayer, the faithful God’s initiative of love always comes first; our own first step is always a response. As God gradually reveals himself and reveals man to himself, prayer appears as a reciprocal call, a covenant drama. Through words and actions, this drama engages the heart. It unfolds throughout the whole history of salvation.” CCC 2567

God keeps calling you on the phone. He is always initiating, and prayer is you choosing to answer the phone. So, how do you get started? Well, first off, prayer isn’t your inner monologue. It isn’t you having a conversation with yourself. Rather, it is allowing God to use the voice of the mind to converse with you. If God created you – your senses, your imagination, your intellect – wouldn’t it make sense that he would and does use those to communicate with you? Sometimes, we think that God’s going to speak to us through a billboard on the highway or a sign that’s going to hit us in the face, but more often than not, he wants to speak to us through the mundane. Why? Because he wants to be able to communicate at all times.

Close your eyes and say your first, middle, and last name in your head. It’s okay, just do it. Did it sound scary or did it sound normal? Sometimes we imagine God’s going to speak to us like how Mufasa appeared in the clouds to talk to Simba (The Lion King), a loud booming voice from the sky. Honestly, if that happened to me, I would freak out. It’s important to note that Simba isn’t freaked out because that voice, the voice of his father, is familiar. When God talks to us, He doesn’t want to scare us.

How about our imagination? St. Ignatius of Loyola developed a type of prayer allowing the individual to enter Biblical stories as if they were fully present, using all the senses. The best way to start is to imagine something already familiar: your bedroom (it could be another room if you want). Close your eyes and place yourself there. Use all five senses to get a “feel” for the room in great detail. What was that like? Did it seem easy or hard? If it was difficult or “fuzzy” try again. Practice makes perfect. It’s important to know that the mind is a muscle, it needs exercise and practice. It’s easy to be discouraged, but don’t be.

So at this point, you’ve heard your name and you’ve seen your room! That’s amazing! Time to move on to the next step. When conversing with God, there are three key things to know. God will only speak things that are 1) good; 2) upbuilding; and 3) true. All three of these criteria need to be met. If God is good, why would he ever say something bad about you? God’s also a good father, so why would he ever try to tear you down? And finally, God cannot lie; he can only speak what is true.

So, just like any conversation or new relationship, it’s good to ask questions. One of the best to start with is simply, “God, do you love me?” This question is simple because the answer is yes; however, it’s important to not let your mind “say” the obvious answer, but WAIT for the Lord to respond. It’s also good to note that you might see something in your imagination or feel something, like being hugged. If you don’t hear anything, ask again. Be persistent.

And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Luke 11:9-10

And from this place, there are endless questions you can ask. God, what do you think about me? What is your plan for my life? How can I grow in holiness today? And if you question whether or not what you see or hear is you, ask yourself: is it good, true, and upbuilding? If even one of those qualifications is not met, it’s not God. The reality is, it’s tough at first. Relationships take practice, and they take dedication. It’s not going to be perfect the first time, but be patient. Trust that the Lord will show up.

He’s there, always waiting for you. The question is, are you open to the way He wants to speak?

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Who is God? Or, what is God?

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, non-Christian religions would define God as “a superhuman being or spirit worshipped as having power over nature or human fortunes; a deity …” or someone of divine nature. The dictionary gives a second definition in the Christian, monotheistic sense as God being “the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; the supreme being.” At first glance, to a middle- or high-schooler, both definitions give levitating dictator-ish vibes. “Worshipped as having power over nature” and “source of all moral authority” seem to be pretty strong statements. So the question still stands: who or what is God?

When we try to describe someone or something, we tend to talk about things they’ve done or accomplished. However, we frequently fail to discuss the nature or the character of someone. For example, if I wanted to describe one of my friends to you, I might say, “She’s really good at playing the cello or at ad-libbing bedtime stories.” This might give you some insight, but if you’re asking about her, you might want to know more about her tendencies, how might she respond to different situations and who she is as a person. I might say, “She is patient and seeks to understand rather than to respond. She likes to think things through and is very intentional. And she likes to have fun.” This gives you a greater idea of who she is as a person. See the difference?

Sometimes when it comes to God, we tend to stop at the first set of questions. We let actions and selective statements obscure our vision and perception. I grew up Catholic, but maybe you didn’t.

Even with my Catholic upbringing and education, I didn’t know the nature of God or His character. At Mass and in my religion classes, I heard a lot about rules and commandments. Up until I was 20, the Catholic faith was just a bunch of rules. This might be how you view Christianity, and that is understandable.

This perspective made me see God as just a taskmaster. If you look at the Old Testament, the first part of the Bible, there are a bunch of examples of punishment when the chosen people of God didn’t follow His commandments.

So let’s go back to the first question: who is God? Some think the Christian God is far off and distant, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Psalm 139, in the Old Testament, says, “O LORD, you have searched me and known me!” Different translations have it written, “Lord, you know everything there is to know about me.” King David, the author of the Psalm and a king of God’s people in biblical times, isn’t writing this depicting God as a stalker, but as someone who is so invested in your life. It goes on to say, “You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.” Why? To show God goes before and behind to protect you from anything trying to harm you. My favorite translation of this verse says, “You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness, you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.” Preparation and kindness. This doesn’t sound like something that would come from someone who has malice against you.

So what do we know about God so far? He’s not distant. He wants to be in your life. He prepares for you and doesn’t want you to be harmed. This sounds like an active God, not a passive one.

So what should you know next? God LOVES you. And it’s not just the obligatory love we see so often in today’s society, but rather a love that is faithful and chooses to put others before oneself. The faithfulness of God is, personally, my favorite attribute of his nature. Merriam-Webster says, “FAITHFUL implies unswerving adherence to a person or thing or to the oath or promise by which a tie was contracted.” So, no matter what, God will not break His promise, His covenant. Just think about our lives – how often are we susceptible to breaking our promises out of convenience, forgetfulness, or just laziness? Timothy, one of the New Testament writers, says this about God, “… if we are faithless, he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself.” Like, woah. “He cannot DENY himself.” Timothy isn’t just describing a quality of God, but rather the what-ness of God. Like, what God is, is faithful.

God loves you. The whole Bible is ultimately a love story and one about sacrifice. Here’s the gist: God loves YOU. Not like y’all you, but you, right now, reading this sentence. He LOVES you.

When Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis and sin entered into the world, God had a plan of redemption for YOU. Even though Jesus came into the world 2,000 years ago, God had YOU in mind when He came. He knew you would sin and He loved you too much to leave you in your sin. He loved you so much that God sent His son Jesus to pay the price of your sins. St. Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament, writes, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” When the price of your sin was death, God said NO and sent His perfect son to die in your place, forever removing the debt. And the crazy thing is this: God doesn’t just love you, He actually likes you. Like, He wants to be around you.

God isn’t far off. He’s not distant. He wants to be so involved in your life and He will be if you let Him. The answers to who is God and what is God are literally infinite. And so I encourage you, if you want to find the answers to those questions, simply ASK Him. He’s waiting for you.

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