“He who knows best knows how little he knows.” –Thomas Jefferson

I recently recall discussing with one of my sons the importance of talking less, while saying more–of giving prudence to what you say in the presence of others, as well as being open to more effective listening.

Indeed, being mindful of what one says, along with remaining open to the the viewpoints of others for shared understanding is a mark of humility and of leadership. Often, when a person does tend to talk more without saying much, it is because he is compensating for something–typically a lack of knowledge and experience in the topic pertinent to the situation at hand. Take for example a sales representative attempting to share a new product. He’s not as familiar with it as he would like to or should be, so under pressure he has a tendency to ramble on, even repeating the same expressions.

It reminds me some time ago when I was listening to a radio show hosted by clinical psychologist Dr. Ray Guarendi.  He was addressing the issue of  what makes an effective teacher, and pointed out to a caller that the best teachers he had, in his opinion, were those who didn’t present themselves as knowing everything. If a student had a question, and the teacher didn’t know the answer, it became that teacher’s opportunity to reply with what I refer to as the three smartest words in the English language:

“I don’t know.”

Let’s be honest: only the Almighty knows EVERYTHING. So why is it that so many of us, when faced with questions to which we do not have the answers, attempt to skirt around the issue in a feeble attempt to hide our ignorance? Often, we accelerate that revelation when we respond with a word salad. What is so difficult to reply to such a question with the simple answer, “I don’t know”?

And in sales, the expression “I don’t know,” is usually followed up with the statement, “But I will find out for you.” In a classroom or other group setting, I might imagine a teacher or team leader tossing the question out to the group with the expression, “Does anyone here have an answer?”

Here are some additional things to consider when our answer is “I don’t know.”:

We reveal humility, not ignorance. So many of us are afraid of making ourselves vulnerable in the eyes of others. Is it classic insecurity? (I don’t know!) But when nurturing prosperous relationships and/or serving in a position of leadership, there is nothing greater than trust. That demonstration of honesty and humility has far greater value to this end, than attempting to build the perception that we have all the answers (Seriously…who needs that kind of pressure?).

We show that we are aware of what we don’t know. Think about this for a moment: It reminds me of a brutally candid (and even entertaining) article that ran in The New York Times way back in 2000, at how incompetent people simply don’t know they are incompetent! “Duh?” you are thinking–but this article really scared me at the time! Could I be one of them and not know it? This was a minor epiphany in my life–it taught me to be mindful of my limitations, and aware of what I don’t know. It also brought to mind some very wise words my father shared with me when I was young: “No matter how good you become at something, son, sooner or later, you will run into another guy who does it better.”

We lower our stress. I am all for setting high standards and expectations, so long as they challenge me to grow and increase the value I can bring to others in a reasonable manner. But I stop short of pretending to be something I am not: I learned that lesson in my life a long time ago (and have had to recently re-learn it). Those days of stressing myself out trying to be everything to everyone are over, and with the these three little words, they can be for you, too.

Finally, I describe the expression “I don’t know” as the “smartest” words primarily for the irony behind it. However, I really don’t believe that the willingness to acknowledge what one doesn’t know will convince anyone of how smart you are. Rather, it becomes an opportunity to demonstrate a gift that is far more sought after than knowledge. In fact, this gift is so valuable, that when God offered his servant King Solomon to grant him anything he would want, it’s what Solomon asked for (revealing that he unknowingly already possessed it – 1 Kings 3:4-12). How’s that for irony?

So, when we have the courage to respond “I don’t know,” we demonstrate something far more valuable than knowledge: wisdom.

NOTE: This piece previously appeared under the author’s byline on the site for the Authentic Leadership Foundation.

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And yet, just as we observed in a piece last year about being glued to mobile devices and social media addiction, for too many people, that warmth of the sun is replaced by the glow of a screen. For some of us (including adults), it’s social media; others, it’s short-attention-span videos (like TikTok), and for those with maybe too much attention span, it’s binge-watching TV shows through Netflix or some other platform (on screens of all sizes).

You know, this problem goes back decades, even when I was a kid. I remember my father claimed how he HATED SITCOMS. Just the sound of the phony laugh-tracks and the actors shouting became like nails on a chalkboard. Why? Because each time he arrived home from work at night, many of his kids were camped in front of the TV, endlessly watching reruns of … whatever (Unfortunately, my mother had passed and was not around to turn the TV off, which she would have done).

If we were digesting something that was better for us, he may not have been so upset, or felt like our TV obsession was his failure. Back then, the old adage “Garbage in, garbage out,” was as true as it is today. And the people producing those programs had no more interest in our physical, psychological or spiritual well-being than most of those creating mainstream entertainment today.

What does “Garbage In, Garbage Out,” mean? Feel free to research it yourself. But it is universally summed up by this definition: in any system (mechanical or biological), the quality of output is determined by the quality of the input.

And where do we find garbage? In the dumpster. Is that where you’re eating?

Before you answer, consider it deeply and honestly. Yes, it’s a jarring question. It’s meant to be. Here’s another question: How is this “diet” making you feel? Do you feel joyful? Does it inspire you to seek purpose in the life you have ahead of you, do great things, and make the world a better place for your loved ones and neighbors?

Or do you just stay put … and wait for the next episode to start?

In the banquet of life, too many of us find ourselves rummaging through scraps, addicted to the immediate gratification and digital distractions, rather than pursuing the stuff of real, palpable, life-changing greatness.

The Worst — and Most Successful — Sales Pitch in History

Consider what might just be the worst, and ironically the most successful sales pitch in history: “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me” (paraphrase of Luke 9:23). These words from Jesus Christ turn the world’s logic on its head. Instead of promising comfort, ease, or endless entertainment, He offers a path marked by denial, sacrifice, and service. It’s a call to Greatness that doesn’t align with a world of binge-watching and endless scrolling.

Why? Because Jesus challenges us to look beyond the immediate gratification of our desires, and even this life. He asks us to consider not what makes us temporarily comfortable, but what makes us eternally fulfilled. This path — demanding as it may seem — promises a joy that the fleeting pleasures of the world can never match.

The Dumpster Diet: Mobile Devices and Binge-Watching

For generations now, young people have been on some form of a “dumpster diet.” However, in the past twenty years, the toxicity of it has increased a thousand-fold. Trust me: sit down and watch just one episode of a show called Three’s Company, which was controversial when it came out, and compare it to anything you can pull up on your mobile device today, or is aired on any network 24 hours a day. It has gotten that bad.

Obsessed with mobile devices and binge-watching, there’s a consistent gravitation towards content that fills your mind with filth, and empties your soul (Don’t believe me? It’s the hunger you feel it each time the show ends, and you put the device down). The irony is palpable: in an age of unparalleled connectivity, many feel more LONELY than ever. In the endless pursuit of comfort, there’s a gnawing sense of misery, a hunger for something more.

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”
—Benedict XVI

I’m not trying to guilt you over screen time. I’m as guilty at times as everyone else. It’s about recognizing that, in the words of Pope Benedict XVI, “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” When we settle for the comfort of the dumpster (did I really just say that?), we miss out on the feast we were made to enjoy.

The Feast of Greatness

Greatness, in this context, isn’t about achieving fame or accumulating wealth. It’s about living a life of God-given, purpose, integrity, and service. It’s about cultivating virtues like courage, patience, and generosity. It’s about using your talents and time in service to others and in pursuit of a cause greater than oneself.

It’s a purpose to get up in the morning.

Greatness involves stepping away from the screen to engage with the real world — to connect deeply with others, to experience the beauty of nature, to contribute to your community, and to embrace the challenges and opportunities that life presents.

Making the Switch: From Dumpster to Banquet

Making the switch from the dumpster to the banquet involves a conscious choice. It requires recognizing the emptiness of what the world calls “living” and embracing the fullness of life offered through a path of self-denial, sacrifice, and service.

• Deny Yourself: This means, quite simply, setting aside selfish desires and instant gratifications for something greater. It’s about discipline, about choosing to engage in activities that enrich rather than deplete you.
• Take Up Your Cross: Every great endeavor involves challenge and sacrifice. Whether it’s pursuing an education, excelling in a sport, or mastering an art, the path to achievement is marked by hard work and perseverance. For greatness, a price must be paid.
• Follow Me: For us Christians, following Christ is the ultimate call to greatness. It’s a journey that transforms every aspect of life, infusing it with purpose, joy, and love. He also challenges us to seek not the pursuits of our own will (wants and desires), but that of the Will of our Heavenly Father. It is also a challenge that most of us struggle with our entire lives.

Are You Ready to Leave the Dumpster Behind?

The next time you dive into your screen to binge on your favorite Netflix series, ask yourself this single question, inwardly and honestly: Do the people who created this program CARE about ME?

To every young person fixated on a screen, consider this question, and the invitation here. An invitation to a life of greater purpose, deeper joy, and true fulfillment. A life where you’re not merely consuming content but creating value for others, as well as yourself. This is a life not measured by fake friends and likes, but by the love you give and the difference you make.

Are you ready to leave the dumpster behind and step up to the banquet of greatness you were made for?

It’s your move.

The post Are You Eating Out of the Dumpster? appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

During my first years of college (this was in the late ’80s), I worked several kinds of jobs. One day I opened the newspaper (remember, this was long ago …) to the classifieds and saw a want ad that promised incredible results and rewards. I rushed to the phone, called the number and was excited when they were willing to interview me the next morning.

Rising early, I got out my very best thrift store suit, got dressed, had a light breakfast and took off. I was not about to be late. I drove straight to their office in an industrial park. Walking in, I saw it was a small new office with hardly any furniture, and few people around who looked much older than age 22.

The president’s name was Norman. As he came towards me, I noticed he wore what I guess was supposed to be an impressive and expensive suit. Norman ushered me and another guy, Bob, into his office. I saw it was the only one with furniture. (Okay, they did have card table chairs in the waiting room.)

Norman’s first question to me and the other person I was interviewing with was, “Do your cars run okay?” I nervously lied through my teeth.

Without telling us what the jobs entailed, Norman then bragged about his great “product,” which he had stored in a warehouse across the street (he did not mention what the product was). We had no idea what this mysterious product was nor what it was for. We were both too stupid to ask.

Norman then began boasting that he owned not one, but two Mercedes Benz convertibles, both of which were parked right out front.

For the next few minutes, Norman talked and I pretended to listen. I was waiting to hear about the job. Then Norman finally said, “Alright. Now we are going to attend a marketing workshop!”

I thought we were going to another office. That was a mistake I would regret for the next eight grueling hours. After we left his office, Norman turned us over to another employee named “Steve-O.”

My interviewing partner Bob and I got into a Pinto with Steve-O, who said he was taking us to a seminar on product marketing.

In reality, he kidnapped us to Lancaster, Ohio, a town 30 miles away. There, Steve-O went door-to-door peddling perfume clones — and telling blatant lies in his sales pitch — with us tailing behind him.

Over the next eight hours here’s what happened:

• We were thrown out of several business establishments, including the local mall
• We were threatened with a gun
• We were chased by a vicious guard dog

All in very cold and rainy weather.

When we finally got back to the office, I spoke not one word. I got into my car and drove straight home, feeling like a fool. A hard lesson was learned.

If you look through job postings and find yourself seduced by ads that sound too good to be true, I have some news.

They almost always are too good to be true!

Let me give you some samples of the postings to avoid. These ads are for bogus peddling positions, in the “General” category, with no base or benefits included. They are not legitimate sales positions, which would be listed under a category labeled “Sales & Marketing” or something similar:

FULL TIME – $2,000/WEEK
Due to recent expansion, local company has immediate
openings for 20 men and women. Start Tuesday morning.
No experience necessary, will train.
Must be neat in appearance and ambitious.
Management trainee positions open.
Text / Email only for interview. 740-555-8764 / …@gmail.com

MANAGERS
Immediately hiring. No experience necessary.
Will train. Text / Email Lisa. 740-555-4739 /  …@gmail.com

How to Spot Bogus Peddling Job Posts

Bogus peddling posts have some distinct characteristics. Learn to spot them.

How Is the Ad Categorized?

They are usually listed, as I said before, in the “General” or “Miscellaneous” section of job posts. They are not found where legitimate sales positions are posted.

How Much Money Do They Offer?

Let’s face it: with no skills and no training, how much can you expect to earn per hour? Bogus ads promise a pay scale usually twice as much as a real “no experience necessary” job would offer.

Interested in Management?

Often, these ads say they are looking for “managers,” not sales people. Their rationale is you will be enticed by thinking you can become a manager instead of a salesperson with zero experience.

Titles Are Stressed Over Work

Finally, there is no job description. Remember, titles are meaningless. They hook kids who don’t know any better by promising them glamorous titles, such as “manager” and “executive,” but they won’t say what’s really involved (especially not over the phone).

So when scanning the job posts, beware. I hope that my ordeal will save you much time, frustration and gasoline in the future.

The post Looking for a Job? Watch Out for These Timeless Tricks appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”
— G.K. Chesterton

I recently came across this quote. It certainly points to a lesson I so often must remind myself, as one who leans toward perfectionism: Don’t let PERFECT become the enemy of the GOOD.

Young people are constantly being told to “… try, try and try again …” I certainly remember hearing it a lot when I was growing up. And I must confess, the lesson really didn’t hit me in a real way until I was in my late forties (and that was ten years ago)! Don’t mistake me — I had “tried” many things throughout my life to achieve desired goals, but too often I would let the results, which were inevitably far below my expectations, STRESS ME OUT or make me feel depressed and unworthy. This made the idea of “trying” far less than the adventurous learning experience that it should be, instead, feel like needless self-punishment. What’s the point in that, right?

So how does one try something, but avoid the stress of failure? The truth is, you can’t avoid it completely.

But you can reduce it significantly. Doing so starts with knowing and understanding what stress really is:

STRESS is the DIFFERENCE between EXPECTATIONS and REALITY.

STRESS is the difference between expectations and reality. Actually, the preferred term I use over “difference” is “deficit.” Stress is nothing more than a mathematical equation — one in which YOU have total control over one of the integers!

And this is where we introduce the idea of “Imperfect Action.”

When you focus yourself on learning to play an instrument, throw a ball, or code on a computer, you start out by taking imperfect action. You make the effort, knowing that you will not likely create the results that you know you wish to create — but you take action anyway.

And when the “imperfect results” unfold, are you stressed out about it? Maybe a little — but far less than you would have had you anticipated more.

The point here is, not to expect failure, but to be intentionally realistic about the results that may unfold. Nor does imperfect action imply that you should not give something your best effort. Rather, it is a simple acknowledgement of reality: even our best efforts are far from perfect; and that imperfect action, in pursuit of a worthy goal, is far better than no action at all.

I for one, have found this reframing of stress quite liberating. And when my results are higher than expected, it also makes for a nice surprise.

The post Imperfect Action Is Better than No Action at All appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

What does this entail? It requires you to shift your perspective from being a job seeker to becoming a problem solver. Identifying and addressing unmet needs doesn’t merely make you an applicant; it transforms you into a valuable asset. This is a universally acknowledged truth, be it in the bustling businesses of Newark or the tight-knit communities in Granville and surrounding areas.

The adage, “It’s not what you know but who you know,” holds a grain of truth. However, the most fruitful opportunities frequently arise from unaddressed needs in the community. This could range from offering support to local businesses, to volunteering at community centers, to even identifying inefficiencies within your own school’s activities.

For instance, consider a scenario where you are involved in a school club or sports team and notice a decline in event attendance due to a lack of awareness. Taking the initiative, you propose managing the organization’s social media to boost visibility and engagement. As attendance improves, you find yourself in a newly minted role as the club’s or team’s Social Media Manager. This role wasn’t found; it was created out of a recognized need, thereby providing you valuable experience for your future endeavors.

The core message is this: Your potential for creating meaningful connections and valuable opportunities increases manifold when you shift your focus toward understanding and solving the needs of others. This not only serves your community but also sets the foundation for your own success, whether your path leads to higher education, vocational training, or directly into the workforce.

Stay vigilant and attentive to the nuances of your surroundings. Opportunities often materialize in the most unexpected places—sometimes as close as your local community event or a casual conversation with a neighbor.

The post Don’t Hunt for a Job; Search for a NEED. appeared first on Headliners Mission Group.

Or perhaps, it was a struggle this morning just to get out of bed.

But if you did, despite such a struggle, you deserve credit.

Sometimes, just showing up and being present is the best we can do. Too many of us — and this applies to all roles in our lives, and at all ages (this includes your teachers and parents too!) — have felt less worthy of a task at hand because we are not meeting our own standard of perfection for that day. We need to get over ourselves, move past that, and simply be present.

A dramatic case in point: the 2008 movie We are Marshall tells the story of Marshall University’s struggle to rebuild its football program after a plane crash tragically takes the lives of virtually everyone on the team. University leaders considered folding the program all together — to give up if you will — rather than endure more pain of what would be a formidable task.

But the school—and indeed the community—decided to move forward. Staying in the game was what was needed most of all. It wasn’t about winning. It was about playing. While the movie ends with the new football team achieving a dramatic game win, it goes on to tell you that for the next fifteen years, Marshall did indeed struggle, losing far more games than they would win.

It wasn’t about winning. It was about playing.

But that didn’t matter. What mattered is that they played. They showed up.

And according to Woody Allen, isn’t that most of what makes success? Just showing up? It calls to mind the words of C. S. Lewis in one of his books: “I am to give my readers not the best absolutely but the best I have.”

Indeed, this is all we can ever do. But we should take comfort in knowing that too often we give ourselves less credit than we are due, and that the best we have is often better than we think.

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