If you are reaching a point in your life during which you NEED a job, but you WANT something that may suit your skills, interests, and might pay well and have a future to it, you may find yourself browsing job openings on the internet. However, I would like to share with you an experience that I had with want ads, many, many years ago—with lessons that I learned the hard way that I believe still apply today.

During my first years of college (this was in the late ’80s), I worked several kinds of jobs. One day I opened the newspaper (remember, this was long ago …) to the classifieds and saw a want ad that promised incredible results and rewards. I rushed to the phone, called the number and was excited when they were willing to interview me the next morning.

Rising early, I got out my very best thrift store suit, got dressed, had a light breakfast and took off. I was not about to be late. I drove straight to their office in an industrial park. Walking in, I saw it was a small new office with hardly any furniture, and few people around who looked much older than age 22.

The president’s name was Norman. As he came towards me, I noticed he wore what I guess was supposed to be an impressive and expensive suit. Norman ushered me and another guy, Bob, into his office. I saw it was the only one with furniture. (Okay, they did have card table chairs in the waiting room.)

Norman’s first question to me and the other person I was interviewing with was, “Do your cars run okay?” I nervously lied through my teeth.

Without telling us what the jobs entailed, Norman then bragged about his great “product,” which he had stored in a warehouse across the street (he did not mention what the product was). We had no idea what this mysterious product was nor what it was for. We were both too stupid to ask.

Norman then began boasting that he owned not one, but two Mercedes Benz convertibles, both of which were parked right out front.

For the next few minutes, Norman talked and I pretended to listen. I was waiting to hear about the job. Then Norman finally said, “Alright. Now we are going to attend a marketing workshop!”

I thought we were going to another office. That was a mistake I would regret for the next eight grueling hours. After we left his office, Norman turned us over to another employee named “Steve-O.”

My interviewing partner Bob and I got into a Pinto with Steve-O, who said he was taking us to a seminar on product marketing.

In reality, he kidnapped us to Lancaster, Ohio, a town 30 miles away. There, Steve-O went door-to-door peddling perfume clones — and telling blatant lies in his sales pitch — with us tailing behind him.

Over the next eight hours here’s what happened:

• We were thrown out of several business establishments, including the local mall
• We were threatened with a gun
• We were chased by a vicious guard dog

All in very cold and rainy weather.

When we finally got back to the office, I spoke not one word. I got into my car and drove straight home, feeling like a fool. A hard lesson was learned.

If you look through job postings and find yourself seduced by ads that sound too good to be true, I have some news.

They almost always are too good to be true!

Let me give you some samples of the postings to avoid. These ads are for bogus peddling positions, in the “General” category, with no base or benefits included. They are not legitimate sales positions, which would be listed under a category labeled “Sales & Marketing” or something similar:

FULL TIME – $2,000/WEEK
Due to recent expansion, local company has immediate
openings for 20 men and women. Start Tuesday morning.
No experience necessary, will train.
Must be neat in appearance and ambitious.
Management trainee positions open.
Text / Email only for interview. 740-555-8764 / …@gmail.com

MANAGERS
Immediately hiring. No experience necessary.
Will train. Text / Email Lisa. 740-555-4739 /  …@gmail.com

How to Spot Bogus Peddling Job Posts

Bogus peddling posts have some distinct characteristics. Learn to spot them.

How Is the Ad Categorized?

They are usually listed, as I said before, in the “General” or “Miscellaneous” section of job posts. They are not found where legitimate sales positions are posted.

How Much Money Do They Offer?

Let’s face it: with no skills and no training, how much can you expect to earn per hour? Bogus ads promise a pay scale usually twice as much as a real “no experience necessary” job would offer.

Interested in Management?

Often, these ads say they are looking for “managers,” not sales people. Their rationale is you will be enticed by thinking you can become a manager instead of a salesperson with zero experience.

Titles Are Stressed Over Work

Finally, there is no job description. Remember, titles are meaningless. They hook kids who don’t know any better by promising them glamorous titles, such as “manager” and “executive,” but they won’t say what’s really involved (especially not over the phone).

So when scanning the job posts, beware. I hope that my ordeal will save you much time, frustration and gasoline in the future.